tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60692739896323063702024-03-12T18:14:24.966-07:00The Shadow and the ShimmerA self-help junkie trying to make sense of the world, one day at a timeAriane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-23318971399792139462020-10-22T02:16:00.007-07:002020-10-22T02:27:28.965-07:00Get Your Sparkle Back!!!<p> <span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Oh hi!</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">My poor little blog baby, always at the very bottom of the priority ladder. I remember when I first started S&S, I used to write these long journal-esque posts from my desk at Michael Kors (ha! F U corporate world) and it was such a nice little escape from my day.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">I also used to print up motivational quotes and make these beautiful collages in my notebooks. Still have a few! The good old days.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">So COVID has returned to Europe with a savage vengeance, and I have no idea what will become of life in the next few weeks. The Swiss government maintained a very relaxed attitude after our first lockdown eased up at the end of April, and they seem determined to avoid a second lockdown at all costs. Our cases are soaring, and things are looking pretty, pretty, pretty not good. But, let's see where this goes. Trying to take it ODAAT.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">There are a few points I'd like to review quickly before I get back to my 'day job', so here we go:</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">1. My bestie, Sally Beaton, just published an AMAZING book called <i><b>Get Your Sparkle Back</b></i>. I met Sally in 2016, just a couple of months after moving to Switzerland. She had been living here for several years already, and we literally almost didn't meet, because she moved back to the UK 6 weeks later. Our meeting was a cosmic gift, a meeting of two like souls, and she quickly became one of the most important people in my life. We are both super similar in many ways, and have always understood each others emotions, feelings, and moods. We are also both writers who refused to go down the traditional publishing road. Oh! And we also both love sharing good vibes and information/support to women to ensure they know that they are wonderful and magical creators that can achieve whatever they put their minds and hearts to.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">I proof read <b><i>Get Your Sparkle Back</i></b>, and I can attest that it's really one of the most important and meaningful books a woman can read in her lifetime! Truly life-changing. </span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sally is a holistic nutritionist and sparkle life coach, which means she has ALL the insider information about how women can navigate their health issues, emotional issues, hormone issues, and just general ups and downs of life with more care, love, and purpose. This book teaches us how we can get to know how our bodies operate, so that we can maximize our energy, creativity, productivity, and joy (while also knowing when to slow the F down and take a break, without guilt). </span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Whatever stage you are at in your journey, this book will speak to you.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Please do yourself a favor, and<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Sparkle-Back-confidence/dp/1916130208/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=get+your+sparkle+back&qid=1603357739&sr=8-1"> pick up a copy.</a></span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bRRGRbTmU7E/X5FNZBlp7bI/AAAAAAAABhA/tIoPw5bCJ80-U-Y0Gn0gDTikomyJXzVFwCLcBGAsYHQ/s499/Get%2BYour%2BSparkle%2BBack.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="333" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bRRGRbTmU7E/X5FNZBlp7bI/AAAAAAAABhA/tIoPw5bCJ80-U-Y0Gn0gDTikomyJXzVFwCLcBGAsYHQ/w429-h640/Get%2BYour%2BSparkle%2BBack.jpg" width="429" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Isn't she beaaaaaautiful???<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f3XmevwXOoI/X5FNf1fkElI/AAAAAAAABhE/2G0-7x3ra2Iu3xRPJshxP-GWUama-iebACLcBGAsYHQ/s1360/Get%2BYour%2BSparkle%2BBack%2B2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="907" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f3XmevwXOoI/X5FNf1fkElI/AAAAAAAABhE/2G0-7x3ra2Iu3xRPJshxP-GWUama-iebACLcBGAsYHQ/w426-h640/Get%2BYour%2BSparkle%2BBack%2B2.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So excited that my review is printed on the back of this masterpiece <3<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><br /></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">2. I just deleted my OG Instagram account, and will only be using my professional (LOL) handle @arianesigner going forward. Several reasons for this, but mainly because I don't need an excuse to be on the Internet more than I already am, and I'm trying to streamline social media and get a bit of my own time back. Also, had a ton of posts and photos of my kiddos, and while they are super cute and I want to show them off to the world, I am planning on taking a step back and limiting their online presence.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">So that's it for now! I'm working on a second book of poems, and my aim is to self-publish by Feb/March-ish 2021. All depends on the flow of creativity.</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Doing a ton of freelance work, writing for BabyGaga.com, slowly thinking of a move back to Canada for 2022!</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">I'll update again soon, but I have to get some work done while the kidlets are with their grandparents today <3</span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p>Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-51409594103121192652020-08-24T13:10:00.001-07:002020-08-24T13:25:02.590-07:00A Typical (hard) Day In The Life<p> <span style="font-size: x-large;">One thing that I know for sure is this: not all days are created equally.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">As a most-of-the-time SAHM, I've become familiar with the great days, and the super challenging ones. Each night I go to bed optimistic that I'm gonna land on a great day the following morning, but with two toddlers going through developmental changes at the same time, the going gets rough!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">I'm hiding out in the bath as I type this. It's 21:36. Jake fell asleep about 30 minutes ago after a 2 hour long bedtime battle.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">That kinda day.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">If you ever wanted to know what it's like to have two toddlers, born 11 months and 22 days apart, here ya go!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">6AM. Woke up to Theo poking me and screaming 'Stella! SKY!' (The Paw Patrol girl character, Stella in French, Sky in English, my toddler is fancy and bilingual). </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">'Sky is in your rubber boot, Honey', I groan as I nudge hubby to get up and let me 'sleep in'. Today I can technically stay in bed until 7, but I don't end up falling back asleep, so I laze around a bit then head to the living room.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Jake isn't up yet. I grab a coffee, check my emails, Instagram and a rundown of the news.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Within a few minutes, I hear, 'Helllloooooo. Hello momma. Momma. MOMMA!'. Jake is standing in the hallway looking at me mischievously. Here we go. And the rest of the day looks like this....</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Cut up watermelon for the boys and myself. Jake wants MY watermelon and screams until I give it to him. Change diapers. Give Theo a banana. Give them both orange 'cake'. Theo sees a mini muffin tin on the counter and it reminds him of what we put paint in. Screams until I agree to let him paint. Set up station with paint in muffin tin. Only paint I have is acrylic. Let them make 3 designs each. Jake puts his hands in the paint and smears all over the table. Off to wash hands. Wash table. Rinse out muffin tin and paintbrushes. Jake pulls off a poop diaper and gets it all over the floor. Theo decides to get naked. Check time. Its 8:01. Show them YouTube videos to get them dressed. Take out Play-Doh. Help them make Play-Doh 'noodles' but Theo doesn't like how I'm connecting them to make a big noodle and starts screaming. Try to see if they want to play outside on terrace while I garden a bit. Jake takes a cherry tomato and starts inspecting in. Big brother arrives on scene, steals cherry tomato, pushes little brother down. Jake starts screaming. I water tomatoes quickly and pick him up. See neighbour (also watering tomatoes) and apologize for all the noise. He is sympathetic and says he was at a baby shower yesterday with a lot of children so my kids look like angels in comparison (probably not true, but so kind of him to say).</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Get Jake inside with TV so I can quickly weed the basil and bring garbage outside. We go in the room and play a bit. I start an article but have to check on the boys several times when I hear fighting. Have my second coffee. Eat a banana. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">10:15- first attempt to get Jake to nap. He is playing games and runs out of his room as soon as I leave. Repeat. Repeat. He falls asleep at 11, after I've lay down with him for 20 minutes. Poor Theo has a bad cough and is lying on the couch while this is going down. As soon as I get out of Jake's room I go to Theo. He's exhausted but I doubt he'll sleep. I try anyways. Nope. We read some books. The doorbell rings, dog goes nuts. Shit. It's DHL. Delivering my essential oils cause I'm basic like that. Grateful that Jake didn't wake up.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Go back inside. Start making lunch. Sweet potato and lentil salad and tomato, basil, mozzarella salad with veggie burgers on the menu. Theo keeps coming in the kitchen as I'm cooking. Hides Paw Patrol toys in various drawers. Quite innocent, but he's loud. Makes a constellation pattern with every bowl. I ask him if it's Orion. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Serve him a plate. He doesn't like to eat without Jake so he just takes a bite and goes back to loud Paw Patrol play. I try to finish my article and keep 'shhhushing' Theo.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">We get Jake up at 1, and the boys sit down to eat, but don't eat much. I make a coffee. We play outside again. Fold laundry in the boys room. Theo takes Jake's mattress off the bedframe after being told not to. He is wheezing due to his cold and I keep telling him to stop doing so many strenuous things. He wants to bring Jake's mattress in his room but it gets stuck in the hallway. Screams. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">I'm trying to just finish the basket of clothes and put everything away. Try to get them to help sort clothes into piles or take what's theirs. Theo is interested for 2 Paw Patrol shirts and then abandons. Back to mattress to try and push it into his room. As I'm bringing clothes into our bedroom, boys follow and run into our bed. Throw all bedding on the floor. Jump in it. Take down the 3 paintings above our bed. Pull books off shelves. I tidy up and get them out, lock door. We take a Eucalyptus bath. Most relaxing 15 minutes of the day. Get dressed. Play. Daddy is home at 5. Theo is almost crashing on the couch because of the cold and no nap, but we don't let him sleep yet. Thomas makes them dinner. They eat. Thomas brings Jake to the store, I try to put Theo to bed. He wants Daddy. Wait for Daddy to return, but by then Theo is less interested in bed. Finally falls asleep, lots of coughing. I run off to take a bath alone. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Jake refuses bed at 7:30, so we make dinner. Fondue. Jake keeps interfering but he's cute so its OK. Try bed again at 8. Nope. Screaming. Singing. Laughing. Try again at 8:30. Nope. 9. FINALLY.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Start crying with hands up in a 'what is this???' pose. Husband looks sympathetic. Sends me for another bath. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Sit in bath and feel discouraged but also look at cute videos of the boys from the weekend. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><3</span></p>Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-58235629457019811062020-08-04T04:34:00.001-07:002020-08-04T04:34:09.877-07:00Two Toddlers<font size="5">I know that I am at the tail end of the 'two toddlers' phase, and will soon enter the 'one toddler and one young child' phase.<br />
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But...we're going out with a bang.<br />
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Seriously, I really thought my complaining about being exhausted ALL the time days were over, but then they came back with a vengeance! (And a pandemic).<br />
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Having two toddlers is like this (and I'm not shaming my kids at all, they are behaving appropriately for their ages and development levels...it's just mostly totally insane, that's all):<br />
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*Both kids will strip off their outfits (including diapers, clean or not) and run around the house naked. Getting them back into their clothes and diapers is really tough, cause they just think it's a funny game. This happens about 3-4 times a day these days. </font><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9d2bg6XnzrI/XylHFH4s5_I/AAAAAAAABeA/OFbJr6-dRyAajea7zqMGbMimtLvL71eiACLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/mothers%2Bday%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="My Cub Pack" border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9d2bg6XnzrI/XylHFH4s5_I/AAAAAAAABeA/OFbJr6-dRyAajea7zqMGbMimtLvL71eiACLcBGAsYHQ/w480-h640/mothers%2Bday%2B2.jpg" title="My Cub Pack" width="480" /></a></div><div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><font size="5">SOLUTION: Just let them roam in the nude at home. Saves me struggling to get them back in clothes.<br />
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*Toddler fights. The boys will go from getting along super well, to freaking out because one has an extra slice of banana in a red bowl, and that's not OK. This literally happened yesterday morning. Theo started screaming and pointing at Jake's remaining bananas in his yogourt bowl. So I asked Jake to 'donate' a banana to Theo, which he did. Not good enough. Turns out Theo wanted the banana slice to be fed to him by his brother, and nothing else was acceptable. By the time I actually figured this out, there was yogourt everywhere, Jake was also very upset, and everyone was crying.</font></div><div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><font size="5">SOLUTION: Stay calm, explain in words what is and is not acceptable ('You are frustrated, but I can't let you hit your little brother'). Praise them when they share/play well together/do nice things for each other. <br />
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*They still have complicated bedtime routines. OK, so Jake's is 'easier' cause he generally has his bottle and then falls asleep. Sometimes he needs to have me lie with him for 15-30 minutes, but it's extremely rare that I am in his room for longer than 45 minutes.<br /><br /></font></div><div><font size="5">
Theo doesn't nap anymore in the day, and STILL has a hard time falling asleep at night. Thomas takes care of his bedtime, but often has to go in and out of his room 3-4 times before he fully falls asleep. Most nights we can expect everyone to be in bed and asleep by 830-9, but then they get up 1-2 times a night, and wake up around 6AM. Can't win.</font></div><div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><font size="5">SOLUTION: We decided we are going to try putting Theo for a nap a bit later in the day, but only let him sleep for an hour or so. This might help with the over-exhausted challenging behaviour.</font></div><div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><font size="5">IT'S TOUGH BUT OMG THEY ARE SOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUTE.</font></div><div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-reDAQNUA81w/XylGVogOZTI/AAAAAAAABd4/RstVz4tKfTkrTinVFXvK2d37Z_jgNNVewCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/THEO%2BAND%2BJAKE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="The Cutest Toddlers I Ever Did See" border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="622" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-reDAQNUA81w/XylGVogOZTI/AAAAAAAABd4/RstVz4tKfTkrTinVFXvK2d37Z_jgNNVewCLcBGAsYHQ/w311-h640/THEO%2BAND%2BJAKE.jpg" width="311" /></a></div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><font size="5">Soon they will be bigger.</font></div><div><font size="5">Soon they will be easier to 'manage'.</font></div><div><font size="5">But right now, I'm gonna try to stay with the magic of the toddler zone, even if it's super challenging. </font></div><div><font size="5"><br /></font></div><div><font size="5">I love these monkeys so much <3</font></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-61175317494514762612020-04-07T06:32:00.000-07:002020-04-07T06:31:59.916-07:00On Rainstorms<span style="font-size: large;">If you ask me to tell you about a time in my life when I felt true freedom and joy, it is this. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am about 6 years old. It's the springtime, and one of those amazing rainstorms is coming down. The rain is literally hitting the pavement in vertical sheets, tapping turning to pounding, and then back to tapping as it lets up a little bit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm sitting on our big brown couch, glued to the window, watching the rain engulf my tiny residential street. The sound is hypnotic and soothing. I can smell the freshness through the screen window, where an odd drop makes its way into our house, sometimes reaching as far as my chubby arms.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's late evening, but not yet dark.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We decide to go to the park, my sister and I. The lightning has stayed away, and we are only 2 houses down. We promise to run home as soon as we see flashes in the sky.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We arrive to the park, already soaked through to the skin, and jump into the big, red baby swings. We're too old for them, but we still fit. We squirm around and swing happily, throwing our heads back and catching the drops on our tongues. Not a care in the world.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There's a storm going on, but we know that there is nothing to fear. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">With childlike wisdom and wonder, we giggle as the rain pours. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours. And sometimes, it does not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Stay safe, stay strong, and remember the moments of freedom and joy are coming back.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><3</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-54732067567660671322020-02-22T09:15:00.001-08:002020-02-22T09:19:32.416-08:00I Was A Teenage Anarchist (And Now I'm Just Scared Of Everything...)<span style="font-size: large;">Today I wanna talk about the F WORD. FEAR, motherfuckers.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Since I was 19, I have struggled with panic disorder and generalized anxiety. Last night, when I was falling asleep, I had a bit of an epiphany while I was doing my reframing exercises.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">For the past several weeks, I have been doing these nightly exercises, which aim to heal the relationship we have with past traumas. I learnt about this super helpful tool via Dennis Simsek, aka, THE ANXIETY GUY, aka, my current obsession and spirit animal guide! He's freaking amazing. Watch his video on how to reframe, below:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> So as I was falling asleep, and making some contact with past versions of myself, I became cognizant of the fact that I used to be a fearless, angsty teenager.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">ME! Fearless?! It seems like such a foreign concept, but alas, I used to be scared of nada. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I was the girl who would never say no to a dare, who lived for thrills, and who didn't even consider fear when making decisions.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Of course, some of the things I did back then were SUPER reckless and irresponsible (dangerous!!!), and the Inner-Mom in me is like, screaming at her to stop. Some of the things I did as a teen were just dumb. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Nonetheless, it's fun to look back. Before fear and anxiety became such a strong presence in my life, I was a fearless, badass bitch! Tapping into some of that old teenage IDGAF attitude might help me kick the anxiety in the balls, for good?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It's worth a shot! And even if it doesn't help, it's fun to take a trip down memory lane and revisit some of the most ridic things I did as a teenager.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, without further ado, here are some of the things that Teenage Ariane got up to (circa 1997-2003, mostly).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">19 year-old Ariane. Red lips. Mullet. T-Rex shirt. Lip Piercing. Take me back, baby girl <3</span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">CAUGHT ON FIRE AND WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARED: </span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's a story that my old friends love to hear (especially the way my accomplice, and bestie, Stef tells it). So when we were in high school, we spent a lot of time in our school's track field. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In lieu of sports, we used the terrain for underage boozing, smoking pot, and getting into moderate amounts of trouble. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">One day, after school, Stef and I are walking through the field to get to her house. As we approach the picnic area, we notice smoke and flames in the brush near some big pine trees. Both equipped with 14-eye Doc Martens, we decide to be heroes and stomp out the fire, so that it doesn't spread (we might've been a bit high, haha).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We stomp the fire and go on our way. Cutting through the shopping center to get to Stef's house, a woman screams that my pants are on fire. I look down, and confirm that indeed, my jeans are ever-so-slowly burning away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The tall boots protected my legs from getting burnt, but I still needed to act fast.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Without hesitation, I SPRINT down the shopping center towards the washroom, with flames flying behind me like a real life Sonic the Hedgehog. People must've been like WOOOOOOOW. WHAT IS HAPPENING.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">As soon as I get to the washroom, my survival instincts kick in and I throw my leg over the sink, put on the water, and extinguish the flames. BOOM. Injury avoided. Epic story created. </span></div>
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<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">LOVED THRILLING RIDES:</span></b></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I realize that this is such a 'lame' entry, but it has to be included. I used to be OBSESSED with amusement parks. Especially rollercoasters. Anything spinny or butterfly-in-stomach-inducing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now?! You wanna talk about now?! The last time I went on a children's spinny ride with Thomas at our local fair, I literally almost started to cry and was SO dizzy when I got off that we went home immediately. Like, I was upset and shaken up by the experience. How am I gonna handle life with two boys?! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was the kid who forced her father to go on the Tower of Terror at MGM Studios back in 1995, which was the highlight of my 10 year-old existence. Can I face this and enjoy this shit again?!</span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">BRAGGED ABOUT HOW MANY SERIOUS ACCIDENTS I HAD BEEN IN:</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was what one would call an 'accident prone' kid. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Falling off my bike and getting scratched up didn't cut it for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was in more so in the business of large incisions which required 20 or more stitches. EACH. (Motherfucka).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Getting really badly injured was a part of my life, and despite the initial shock of these incidents, I was always excited to recount my bad luck tales to friends afterwards.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>'I fell off my swing set and the swing part was broken, and the plastic went through my leg!</i>'</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>'I lost my balance on a balance beam, and when I fell off, a 6-inch screw that secured the beam to the gym floor went right through my knee. That hurt'</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>'I fell off my bike when some boys were chasing me, and lost my balance and slid on the gravel path. I cut my lip open on some broken glass, got a concussion, and broke my arm!'</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">***Notice all of these tales deal with 'losing my balance'??? IS THIS A THEME IN MY LIFE THAT HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS SINCE THE BEGINNING? *mindblown***</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">These stories are getting really long. I kind of imagined a bullet-list of like, 20 things, but here we are. I'm gonna quickly bullet out a few other things that were fearless (or reckless, or both) to complete this fun journey, and then it's Netflix time for me!</span></div>
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<li><b>PIERCED MY OWN EARS WITH SAFETY PINS (LIKE, 10 HOLES)</b></li>
<li><b>LET MY FRIEND PIERCE MY NOSE....WITH A SAFETY PIN. UGH.</b></li>
<li><b>SLEPT UNDER A BRIDGE IN A TENT IN A RANDOM FIELD (THIS WAS ACTUALLY EARLY 20'S, but UGH!!! I WOULD NEVVVVVVVVVER DO THAT NOW)</b></li>
<li><b>HUNG OUT WITH REALLY CREEPY OLDER MEN WHEN I WAS UNDER-18 AND THOUGHT THEY WERE 'NICE AND COOL' CAUSE THEY HAD TATTOOS. GROSS. (RECKLESS, NOT BRAVE. YOUNG GIRLS READING, DO NOT DO THIS)</b></li>
<li><b>SWAM IN A LAKE AT NIGHT (HELL NO, NEVER NOW)</b></li>
<li><b>SWAM IN THE OCEAN AT NIGHT (SAMES)</b></li>
<li><b>HUNG OUT ON A BUNCH OF ROOFS. PEOPLE'S ROOFS. </b></li>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I don't really wanna do any of those things again, but like, I think I can manage to go do groceries or bring my kids to the indoor play zone without having a panic attack?! Right?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I think the moral of the story is that I'm getting more comfortable with being OPEN to the idea of change. We're never stuck in one way of being, we just get really comfortable with our patterns and habits. What we become, we can also un-become.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> And we can go back, even if only a little bit. This Spring, I'm embracing the teenage-angsty- Ariane. The one who listens to punk rock and doesn't let something as silly as life scare her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This was fun to write. More coming soon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">xo</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-65186094232214754782020-02-22T01:38:00.000-08:002020-02-22T01:38:45.484-08:00Child Of Divorce Musings: Part Nine Million And Two<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b> ***EDIT: I wrote this before Christmas, 2019, and didn't feel right publishing it then...today I'm cool with this***</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>My parents divorced when I was...18? I have had many, many years to come to terms with the demise of our OG family, the pain and sadness of my parents not being together anymore, and the aftershocks and consequences that this massive life change had on me.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>As a super sensitive child, the divorce was as traumatic to me as if someone I loved had died. And for many years I felt guilty that I felt so badly, like I was damaged and should just be 'getting on with it'. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Everyone's from a divorced family these days, right?</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The other day, I was looking through old family photos, and I had an epiphany.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>In an effort to heal from the divorce pains, I had completely blocked out the good memories I had from my childhood.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Literally locked them up and never revisited them.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>It was too hard, and also, super confusing.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>How could I hold a sacred place for both <i>'the way it was'</i> and '<i>the way it is now'</i>? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>How could I think back on the good times we spent together as a family of 4, without being overly nostalgic or sad?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>How could I be grateful for my life as it had unfolded...accepting that certain events would and will always be out of my control, and that's just part of the journey?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>How could I honour that everyone I care about is entitled to happiness, and the road to joy is different for each person?</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I didn't realize how much guilt I had tied in to these feelings, until I let myself talk them out (Thanks, Mom!).</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>This season I am practicing telling myself: <i>I had a happy childhood, it's too bad that my parent's marriage didn't work out, but they were and continue to be loving parents, and I am blessed to have them.</i></b></span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></i>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am also totally concious of the fact that my parents divorce did have some silver linings. Some truly wonderful people, who I would not have otherwise met (ahem, hi hubby!) came into my life as a result. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I have an even BIGGER family than I had ever imagined, thanks to 4 step-siblings, and several step-nieces and nephews (mostly nephews cause our family rolls like that!).</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>These people love me, and I love them.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm at a point in my life where I'm done being mad, done being sad. I just want to appreciate all of the people who are in my life, who are important to me. Life is too short to not soak it all in.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And this holiday season, instead of being super sappy about being far away from mom and dad (we've managed to all live in separate countries!), I'm going to remember the Christmas' of my childhood and hope that I can make Christmas as magical for my own babies.</b></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THIS WAS US! This photo of our family made me realize how much I had denied myself by not allowing myself to remember. We were pretty cool, we had a good run. <3</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THIS IS US, TOO! A different shape, a few extras, a few missing, but all the love <3</td></tr>
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-89895478733885018762019-12-31T02:23:00.002-08:002019-12-31T02:23:53.243-08:00Bye Bye 2019...Hello 2020!<b><span style="font-size: large;">Another year is drawing to a close. As always, my fresh calendars and planners for the New Year are ready to go! Something about the new year always makes me feel excited. </span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">It's a time to look back on the year that's gone by, take stock of what I accomplished, what goals I realized, and where I need to focus a little more love and energy.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>So here is my 2019 in a point-form nutshell:</u></span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><u></u><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Survived having Theo in daycare for 1/2 a day. This was a big step for me. I was so nervous to 'let him go', but ultimately, it gave me one afternoon a week to focus on bonding with/playing with/napping with Jake. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The routine and out-of-house time at daycare really helped Theo. He loved it! </span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Had a fun mini getaway to Lucerne and the Rigi Kaltbad spa with my bestie in February.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Completed a very effective coaching program with my friend Sally (womenwithsparkle.com) and got my ass back to regular therapy sessions to work through the anxiety that 'came back' in 2018.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Travelled to Lanzarote, Canada twice, Italy for a 3-day anniversary getaway, and France for a pre-Christmas getaway</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Made a lot of new friends and continued to grow existing relationships!</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Published a book and appeared in two magazines (cool!)</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Finally went to the dentist LOL (I am so ashamed that it took me 3 years to do this. I used to go for cleanings every 6 months, but alas, life. Happy to report that my hiatus didn't result in any cavities, and I will be going regularly from here on out).</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Moved to a new apartment...again! We are definitely sticking here for at least the next 3-5 years...I'm only leaving if we move out of the country or buy a house haha</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Got so much more comfortable in Switzerland. After almost 4 years, I'm really feeling integrated and it does feel like home. Still not sure what the future holds, but right now, this is where we want to be.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">A pretty eventful and successful year. The best thing that happened was that I felt much better than 2018, when anxiety plagued my daily life. I still had quite a few rocky and challenging moments, but as the year comes to a close, I know what I need to do to take care of myself, and putting those things into practice has helped tremendously.</span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">February: self-published Things That Shine: Poems, my first book!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">March, went to Lanzarote</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June: went to Canada as a family</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fVLqYejNSAg/Xgsgf4iR7gI/AAAAAAAABWw/9J2PRq11du4RrUNEQXD1X2JxAEU-HRBxQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191011_235341.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fVLqYejNSAg/Xgsgf4iR7gI/AAAAAAAABWw/9J2PRq11du4RrUNEQXD1X2JxAEU-HRBxQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191011_235341.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">October: Went back to Canada with Jakey!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QyDUNI5bXqA/Xgsgmozs7bI/AAAAAAAABW0/OSxl7u5NcMk8dvJ6oAv_WOYK8HUChU-xQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/thumbnail_20190706_170708.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QyDUNI5bXqA/Xgsgmozs7bI/AAAAAAAABW0/OSxl7u5NcMk8dvJ6oAv_WOYK8HUChU-xQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/thumbnail_20190706_170708.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Had a few alone moments driving places <3</td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><u></u><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>SO, now, onto 2020! Here are my main goals:</u></span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><u></u><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Establishing a better work/life balance. Kids are starting 2 days a week of daycare next week, I am looking at finding a job or going back to school, and very much looking forward to not being a 24/7 SAHM. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I'm so grateful and glad that I was with my babies for every milestone as they grew into toddler age, but it also did a number on my physical and emotional states. I need balance! I need alone time! I need to talk to adults! (I also know I'll miss them like crazy when I finally have these things in regular doses haha).</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Continuing to let go of self-sabotaging thoughts/patterns/beliefs. Going more easy on myself. Not comparing myself to others. Following my own path.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Spending more time with hubby...alone! More little getaways are on the horizon, including a possible 4-day trip to Copenhagen for this year's wedding anniversary. Stay tuned.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Writing more! Blogging and whatever else comes out...</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Doing less. Relaxing more. </span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">That's about it! Happy New Year to All <3</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.S. I might become a medical secretary. Totally random. I found the course online when job searching, and I can become certified in 5 months, and then start working in a hospital or clinic/private clinic. I've always been moderately obsessed with health and medical issues, and my inner Grey's Anatomy-loving self is really excited about the prospect of wearing medical garb and having a stethoscope. And helping people. I'm kind of not really wanting to spend the rest of my life working in logistics, so what better time than now to change careers completely?</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.P.S Yes, I'm still a writer/author and will definitely publish more books in the future. However, my freelance side-jobs aren't recognized in the Swiss system (aka: daycare subsidization not possible if self-employed) so I kinda have to join the masses and have a regular job. I'm OK with it though. </span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.P.P.S. Buy my book!!!! Things That Shine: Poems, available on Amazon, Book Depository, and the Balboa Press website. Links below.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Things-That-Shine-Ariane-Signer-ebook/dp/B07QPBWT3R/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=things+that+shine+ariane&qid=1577787121&sr=8-1">https://www.amazon.com/Things-That-Shine-Ariane-Signer-ebook/dp/B07QPBWT3R/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=things+that+shine+ariane&qid=1577787121&sr=8-1</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.bookdepository.com/Things-That-Shine-Ariane-Signer/9781982221508">https://www.bookdepository.com/Things-That-Shine-Ariane-Signer/9781982221508</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.balboapress.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/790821-things-that-shine">https://www.balboapress.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/790821-things-that-shine</a>Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-13575360491548224692019-11-01T03:17:00.001-07:002019-11-01T03:17:19.797-07:00Despair In The Departure Lounge Part 2! <span style="font-size: large;">The past couple of weeks have been an almost comical display of things getting cosmically f'ed up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The good news is that I have weathered the weeks with a pretty good sense of humour (a few meltdowns, but we'll get to that...).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So it all started on Thursday, October 16th, under a Waning Gibbous moon in Taurus. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Arrived to the Montreal airport, baby in tow, after a really beautiful sisterly airport goodbye.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Time to go home, to Switzerland!</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TJCo88pCO3s/XbwCmzhbamI/AAAAAAAABTY/Exanoi5XKfMRedaVacIubTwcBz7aDXq1QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191016_191405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TJCo88pCO3s/XbwCmzhbamI/AAAAAAAABTY/Exanoi5XKfMRedaVacIubTwcBz7aDXq1QCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191016_191405.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div>
Final sister squeezes in front of mom's place. I'm so grateful to have spent so much quality time with my sis this year. Really special moments <3</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was so READY, cause I missed my oldest son and husband, and just wanted to get back to my day-to-day routine. Being away always makes me realize that home really is where the heart is.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, we board our plane, and I'm really feeling positive and happy. Going home! Have cute baby with me! Chatting with all of my plane neighbours. Trying to soak in the experience and just kept focusing on the fact that in less than 7 hours I would have Theo in my arms.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, we takeoff. Everything is great. Seatbelt sign still on, so we sit obediently (we were flying in 29D, right in front of the flight attendant). All of a sudden, she gets a call from the pilot. Looks a bit serious but not scared or anything. I don't really think much of it....UNTIL. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I look up to the screen and see that our estimated time remaining in flight has changed from 6:40 to 0:10. 10 minutes?! So I ask the flight attendant what's going on, is this normal, give me some info lady, I have a baby.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dz8SCHSE6Yc/XbwDNckKM3I/AAAAAAAABTg/40M8evA48f4wrTVR7btBXGQAyiKYn5QegCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191016_220705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dz8SCHSE6Yc/XbwDNckKM3I/AAAAAAAABTg/40M8evA48f4wrTVR7btBXGQAyiKYn5QegCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191016_220705.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This kid went through ALL the travel methods with such patience. Planes, trains, automobiles, buses, metro, taxis....he's the best.</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lbf1i4nOF3E/XbwDNfjV3VI/AAAAAAAABTk/26yHOIbBrNkVaMvlf5plnjS8rWrBbuKBwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191007_122647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lbf1i4nOF3E/XbwDNfjV3VI/AAAAAAAABTk/26yHOIbBrNkVaMvlf5plnjS8rWrBbuKBwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191007_122647.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My original optimistic face before finding out we had to return to Montreal and spend the night in a seedy airport hotel.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So she does her most reassuring-but-not-that-assuring face and says 'there will be an announcement soon'. The mystery and uncertainty of what that meant sent me from a 3 to 10 on the anxiety scale. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Holding Jake close, I realize my whole body is trembling, I'm kind of like, just at the mercy of my emotions. I start silently crying. The type of crying when you're super scared, but also discouraged, and sad, and just like.....WHY WORLD! WHYYYYYYYYY. (Are we gonna seriously crash in a plane right now and never see Theo again?????????????)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, we landed back in Montreal. They transferred us to a hotel for the night, cause the plane's landing gear was malfunctioning and the wheels wouldn't retract. Not safe. Obviously I stand behind the decision to go back, but I was just so damn discouraged in the moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But here's the silver lining!!! Everyone I met at the airport, on the plane, were SO nice to us and I felt such comfort from strangers. There was the guy coming back from a Buddhist retreat in Arizona. He chilled me the F down. Then there was the cute German couple who were just kind of doing this deep belly laugh throughout the ordeal and saying things like 'it's better to land and stay an extra night than to have bigger problems'. TRUTH.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">A guy travelling with his young daughter literally pointed to me and screamed 'STAY STRONG. You got this! I LOVE YOU!' (while I was crying at the Swiss Airlines counter. Again. LOL) Some lady carried all my bags while I struggled to carry a sick and cranky baby without the stroller.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I also learnt a lot about my own resilience. I usually HATE airports. I hate the lines and the security checks, and all the stuff you HAVE to do, the waiting, the expensive snacks.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I just don't love that part of travelling. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But this experience forced me to be in an airport for like 10 hours, and I survived!!! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I survived even crying and carrying my 25 pound baby without a stroller, losing a bag, feeling the desperation and longing imagining my little blonde mop of a son at home waiting for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">AH!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">OK, so we got home the next day, and yes, the airport reunion was EPIC. Theo and I ran to each other, each bursting out in tears as we made our way through the crowd. Feeling his warm, fuzzy mop of hair on my face, sticking to the places where the tears had made my face wet, was PERFECTION. Seeing the brothers hold hands and giggle at the realization that they were reunited was really special.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BycXuJVQBo0/XbwDuJ8RRRI/AAAAAAAABT0/DIyH9HjCVlAiclaVCFEOBLwjJtiwK7tRwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191018_080041.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BycXuJVQBo0/XbwDuJ8RRRI/AAAAAAAABT0/DIyH9HjCVlAiclaVCFEOBLwjJtiwK7tRwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191018_080041.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When you see your bestie after almost 2 weeks apart. Dat him!</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LDhIvqqFXsk/XbwDt9d9GMI/AAAAAAAABTw/W5KgNLh1_0YArTwQGw80qjH8EdJobKC1QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191018_081725.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LDhIvqqFXsk/XbwDt9d9GMI/AAAAAAAABTw/W5KgNLh1_0YArTwQGw80qjH8EdJobKC1QCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191018_081725.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drove home from Zurich alternating between holding hands and trying to steal each others' snacks. Typical bros right back at it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going to Canada for a second time this year was totally unnecessary but also really necessary! I was so happy to spend time with my family, and friends, again. And seeing the beautiful fall colours of the season was amazing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, no planes for a loooooooooooooooong time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Here are a few fave photos from the trip.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-85FIy766_sc/XbwEcRU1mLI/AAAAAAAABUA/FGgP8rNDQu0mfMYSgfyrMGV4V42vW98_QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191008_002936.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-85FIy766_sc/XbwEcRU1mLI/AAAAAAAABUA/FGgP8rNDQu0mfMYSgfyrMGV4V42vW98_QCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191008_002936.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A beautiful Fall, pink sky. First evening at my sister's place.</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WfUu4DWe0wk/XbwEcUKQTGI/AAAAAAAABUE/E9gdnNHbPP4VEHAOE_HwIZSkAcfA_aYZgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191008_145431.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WfUu4DWe0wk/XbwEcUKQTGI/AAAAAAAABUE/E9gdnNHbPP4VEHAOE_HwIZSkAcfA_aYZgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191008_145431.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two nephews, one son! The ultimate guy gang. These are special memories.</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BDKBRq38Kik/XbwEb4adg3I/AAAAAAAABT8/-Npp00O45twJWJc-Znkaai-S2kgVOBLAgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191009_133706.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BDKBRq38Kik/XbwEb4adg3I/AAAAAAAABT8/-Npp00O45twJWJc-Znkaai-S2kgVOBLAgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191009_133706.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My clingy mini. He followed me (literally) every single place I went for two weeks. <3</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ul1yPdqL2j4/XbwEc_mM10I/AAAAAAAABUI/yupqZu0er54xmJ1f0KnfASPnFC1opRfVgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191011_000456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ul1yPdqL2j4/XbwEc_mM10I/AAAAAAAABUI/yupqZu0er54xmJ1f0KnfASPnFC1opRfVgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191011_000456.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Besties chilling and catching up <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Kf_oSVuDW5w/XbwEdR2Ci2I/AAAAAAAABUM/4fdpMh2AYBEHYmLmTiynfF-C72nlR_OWwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191011_223305.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Kf_oSVuDW5w/XbwEdR2Ci2I/AAAAAAAABUM/4fdpMh2AYBEHYmLmTiynfF-C72nlR_OWwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191011_223305.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cousin's beautiful wedding in the Ottawa region</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_nXYyGCbVJQ/XbwEd3AKhOI/AAAAAAAABUQ/Ndr28IMoh_QgyNOv4ppbv27dKH_JlLTMQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191011_223636.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_nXYyGCbVJQ/XbwEd3AKhOI/AAAAAAAABUQ/Ndr28IMoh_QgyNOv4ppbv27dKH_JlLTMQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191011_223636.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family <3</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w3kIdTY7BFk/XbwEeP_IcRI/AAAAAAAABUU/uAqxC_DcNmIjORO24dqfzbDwwSysdRBfwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191011_235300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w3kIdTY7BFk/XbwEeP_IcRI/AAAAAAAABUU/uAqxC_DcNmIjORO24dqfzbDwwSysdRBfwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191011_235300.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My wedding date. I kinda like the mom finger in the top left of the photo. My mom is notoriously bad at taking photos on cellphones, so it's a little bit of her in this snap haha</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7GDMWW1HUm4/XbwEesbsMCI/AAAAAAAABUY/rVjL2Ml-duMfcCj5cfEHrQzph6RHT46vwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191013_183225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7GDMWW1HUm4/XbwEesbsMCI/AAAAAAAABUY/rVjL2Ml-duMfcCj5cfEHrQzph6RHT46vwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191013_183225.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Granny supplying cone after cone of maple walnut ice cream! Jake can't even believe he ate so much haha</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nJLZhJsTOw8/XbwEewPLdCI/AAAAAAAABUc/lDBLeKCs5TsPG2nVMDgFU1KlM-nL6-MlQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191014_214642.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nJLZhJsTOw8/XbwEewPLdCI/AAAAAAAABUc/lDBLeKCs5TsPG2nVMDgFU1KlM-nL6-MlQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191014_214642.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanksgiving 2019 with some very special people. Shoutout to the theme of the day 'YELLOW SHIRTS'!!!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tN7aTLAe0T4/XbwEfFF7EZI/AAAAAAAABUg/tuArFfflxYkNOFS4OpoHnkiBdTRwSc2iACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191016_031800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tN7aTLAe0T4/XbwEfFF7EZI/AAAAAAAABUg/tuArFfflxYkNOFS4OpoHnkiBdTRwSc2iACLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191016_031800.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another beautiful bestie in da house! She braided my hair and we chatted about everything and nothing the night before I went home (or tried to go home haha)</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jPPzHzKP4hs/XbwEfvfs7oI/AAAAAAAABUk/T-Cd-EQa7cgGsPgdjbHa1Sa5ytZqA1_cACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20191016_191339.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jPPzHzKP4hs/XbwEfvfs7oI/AAAAAAAABUk/T-Cd-EQa7cgGsPgdjbHa1Sa5ytZqA1_cACLcBGAsYHQ/s640/20191016_191339.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Est. 2019 and Est. 2018. These mini cousins are less than a year apart and oh so cute.</td></tr>
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-88043844310203123122019-09-24T02:53:00.002-07:002019-09-24T02:54:21.066-07:00Fall Update<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Fall is here, and once again, I feel like I've neglected S+S for far too long!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">When you have toddlers, it's really true what they say, '<i>the days are long but the years fly by.'</i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here are a few things I've been up to:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Some freelance writing/but mostly free-writing/new poems. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm still submitting a few articles to www.TheRichest.com, but I don't always feel like it, to be honest! Doing freelance work is great, because it's structured (and paid haha) but I am feeling like I am really in the season of creative writing.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Lately, I've been keeping an anxiety journal/tracker, to take note of when I feel crappy. Writing out the feelings also helps me to be less hard on myself when I don't see progress. Or when I am progressing but not 'fast enough' for my likings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Also keeping a dream journal again. I've always had such intense dreams. Signs. Symbols. Detailed conversations. It's kind of cool. I sometimes feel like my dream life makes more sense than my waking life. I like spending time in the depths of my subconscious. It's kind of a fun place (despite what it would have me believe in waking life...)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mJHJPviw2DM/XYnnifnqMEI/AAAAAAAABSg/1rCqzYF46I0tjTUScCrB95h44sI-Hp7iwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/thumbnail_20190825_122348.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mJHJPviw2DM/XYnnifnqMEI/AAAAAAAABSg/1rCqzYF46I0tjTUScCrB95h44sI-Hp7iwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/thumbnail_20190825_122348.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's me in 80's workout gear, just cuz! I looked more alive than normal here. Must be the lighting.</td></tr>
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<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Toddler Management.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Self-explanatory. Chasing them all over the house/park/streets. Jake's new thing is opening the oven door and standing on it to get to our oil tray. Ugh. Why do they pick the worst games?! Theo is in a phase of running after the dog and trying to scare him by roaring and screaming in his face. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Naps are hard to come by. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Teething for Jake. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes I look in the mirror and feel like I've aged by 20 years since they were born.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">My natural hair colour is like...100% grey now. WTF?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Not age-shaming, but sometimes I'm like...wasn't I just 25?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Not a super restful period. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But, you know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This will pass and I will miss it. So. Perspective.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">By the time I'm 40, I'll have a 7 year-old and 6 year-old, and will be in my prime MILF years. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The future is bright.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--t4j6YgXdMc/XYnm-HeZahI/AAAAAAAABSI/IJ0kFyCTzxIQXTsczYMTirxXH-PbxuF9gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/thumbnail_20190923_084232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--t4j6YgXdMc/XYnm-HeZahI/AAAAAAAABSI/IJ0kFyCTzxIQXTsczYMTirxXH-PbxuF9gCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/thumbnail_20190923_084232.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These guys keep me running around ALL day everyday, but I love them more than anything in the world. <3</td></tr>
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<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Going Back To Canada!</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm going back to Canada in 2 weeks, with Jake. I'm going for my cousin's wedding and Thanksgiving. Hoping to have some restful/relaxing moments. I know I'll miss Theo so much and probably cry once a day, but it's good for me to push out of my comfort zone a bit. Otherwise I'm gonna end up being the stage-5-clinger mom, and ain't nobody got time for that. We're watching 13 Reasons Why, and all the moms in that show are so fucking annoying and clingy! I'm like......am I like that?!?! (yes, but I have time to correct the behaviour before they're older and cool haha)</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Planning Move.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We are moving to our new place on November 15th. So damn excited to be a bit more central and get out of this 'hood. It's not BAD, but it's annoying to be kind of on the outskirts of downtown where everything is easily accessible. I also find there are a lot of murky energetic fields around our place (I always get a weird bad-vibe feeling when I walk under the underpass). Happy to move away from there. New start. Will live on the same street as my hairdresser. </span></div>
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<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Reading A Lot.</span></b></div>
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<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've been reading a lot, in an attempt to catch up to my GoodReads Challenge of 30 books for 2019. I started tracking last month, so now I feel like I need to read a ton to reach my goal by end of year. I'm halfway, roughly.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Reading a lot of fiction novels.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">It's a nice break from all the personal development/self-help stuff.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Gotta have a balance!</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FC7EXH9iGh8/XYnnRwT79lI/AAAAAAAABSU/AivDwQNWcHsgL8zgwqCVdzUPY4CF2cZUgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/thumbnail_20190912_160437.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FC7EXH9iGh8/XYnnRwT79lI/AAAAAAAABSU/AivDwQNWcHsgL8zgwqCVdzUPY4CF2cZUgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/thumbnail_20190912_160437.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was reading under this tree last week on my 'day off' but then just kinda sat there listening to music and feeling half-alive. Motherhood!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Next post will be much more exciting and fun, I'm half-asleep and just felt like I needed to update my many readers (lol) about my situ!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">OH! I guess it's totally worth mentioning that at this time last year, I was entering a super shitty period of high anxiety/mild depression/burnout etc....</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Happy to report that I'm actually feeling like this season I'm exiting that phase. It took me a good year of feeling mildly shitty to finally make some major progress, but I have!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Therapy, writing, new friends, reading, being less hard on myself....all working <3</span></div>
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Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-89288898186722676902019-08-11T02:17:00.000-07:002019-08-11T07:34:43.265-07:002 Years Sober!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Whoa.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I haven't had a drink in 2 years. TWO YEARS!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In retrospect, the years I spent as an active drinker seem way further in the past than that, possibly because I only drank during 2 months out of the past 3 years.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But still! I respect official dates!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The girl who used to struggle to string together 3 days without a cider now sits comfortably on her couch without having had any in 730 days. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My thoughts about drinking/alcohol dependence/mom wine culture etc; have ebbed and flowed, like a river, over the past 2 years. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here's how it played out:</span><br />
<u></u><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">LEADING UP TO 1 YEAR SOBER:</span></b></u><br />
<u></u><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Needed to keep myself in active education. Reading, networking, blogging. All things about drinking and giving up. I needed to understand why alcohol became my go-to. I needed to sort out my feelings about how much of my life I had numbed out (almost all of it?). I had to get to the root of the habit.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Focused a lot on milestones. 3 months, 6 months, 9 months sober etc;</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Still felt a lot of shame and embarrassment talking about my drinking past. Confusion about labels/the various degrees of substance use disorder.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">FROM 1 YEAR TO 2 YEARS SOBER:</span></b></u><br />
<u></u><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Barely blogged about sobriety.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Didn't read too many more books on the subject </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Did a lot of inner work. Focused on the things that I drank to escape from (false core beliefs, anxiety, shyness, fear etc;) ***<i>This is lifelong work, btw, haha</i>***</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Wrote a book that addressed a lot of negative past feelings and experiences. Removed shame from the equation, and allowed myself to be vulnerable and accept my journey and evolution.</span><br />
<b><u>(THINGS THAT SHINE: POEMS, ARIANE SIGNER. GET A COPY ON AMAZON, OR BY VISITING MY WEBSITE www.arianesigner.com)</u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><i></i><u></u><u></u><b></b><b></b><b></b><i></i><u></u><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Didn't really tell people so much about my story. Just didn't drink, and felt super comfortable with that choice</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">*Started drinking non-alcoholic beers and cocktails more frequently (when others are having drinks).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I won't go into the reasons or methods I used to sober up, here. If you go back to past entries, you'll get the whole picture, anyway.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is mainly to give encouragement and hope to anyone that is struggling with alcohol.</span><br />
<i></i><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"> If it's making you feel bad, low energy, depressed, anxious, ashamed, tired, sluggish, physically sick.</span></b></i><br />
<i></i><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">If it's creating more problems that solutions. </span></b></i><br />
<i></i><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">If you don't really know how to manage it, and feel like most days, it's managing you.</span></b></i><br />
<i></i><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">If you feel scared that you can't get it under control.</span></b></i><br />
<i></i><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">If you wish for things to be different.</span></b></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">******************************</span></i></b><br />
<b></b><i></i><b></b><i></i><b></b><i></i><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">There are ways to combat this.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">There are so many people that want to help.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">There are so many books that will make you feel less alone.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">There are ways to get your power back.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">There are solutions.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">*****************************</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I barely recognize the girl I used to be, in photos. Photos where I was wasted. Where I was drinking. Empty.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But, I honour her, still.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">She was brave. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">She challenged her unhealthy relationship with alcohol, even though it was terrifying to uncover what lay under all the booze.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Nowadays, I call the shots.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Life still terrifies me on the daily, and I'm a long way from super calm and blissed out, but ODAAT, right?!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I don't let my fears limit me anymore.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I keep on.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I feel the fear, and do it anyway.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I push through.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I'm showing up for my family.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">OK, this is getting so cheesy, I have to stop and take a lunch break.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But seriously, yeah me!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I'm proud.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Oh! Random side note. Not at all related, but my parents got married 40 years ago today! Funny that my sobriety date is also what would have been their anniversary if they were still together! Still a neat numerological synchronicity!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">BEFORE:</span></b></div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br /></b>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oR-a9AcyxAU/XU_bKzrEenI/AAAAAAAABQc/J6hJVPltXVEV6x-UlpNQoS6Vnv9kWYcegCLcBGAs/s1600/before%2B%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oR-a9AcyxAU/XU_bKzrEenI/AAAAAAAABQc/J6hJVPltXVEV6x-UlpNQoS6Vnv9kWYcegCLcBGAs/s640/before%2B%25282%2529.JPG" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drinking. Empty smiles.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ky0qO1RMDKc/XU_bKw5k0UI/AAAAAAAABQk/gwhJJTMNiyE8bQXdpefZRYkE4QKMb047ACLcBGAs/s1600/before.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ky0qO1RMDKc/XU_bKw5k0UI/AAAAAAAABQk/gwhJJTMNiyE8bQXdpefZRYkE4QKMb047ACLcBGAs/s640/before.JPG" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drinking. Faraway. Disconnected.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ygDxwoeAqOs/XU_bK0NZ2KI/AAAAAAAABQg/kB-mSFl7S503HLkBuJgrOR8Q0MdT_ywzgCLcBGAs/s1600/drinking.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1368" data-original-width="1022" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ygDxwoeAqOs/XU_bK0NZ2KI/AAAAAAAABQg/kB-mSFl7S503HLkBuJgrOR8Q0MdT_ywzgCLcBGAs/s640/drinking.JPG" width="478" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div>
Drinking. This is super fun! Right?! Right?</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">AFTER:</span></b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b></b><span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br /></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZU8JcW-Nut0/XU_bwiBwixI/AAAAAAAABQ0/6hhXVt7pXPAwtdonGZZFijYcLFgqcaxZgCLcBGAs/s1600/20190630_175936.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZU8JcW-Nut0/XU_bwiBwixI/AAAAAAAABQ0/6hhXVt7pXPAwtdonGZZFijYcLFgqcaxZgCLcBGAs/s640/20190630_175936.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sober. Found my old Discman at my mom's house. Happy place.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cLMgP6NGbbI/XU_b7XbHCXI/AAAAAAAABQ8/3Tokbnb1msAL8KDi1wkyOTVajtb0dmiTgCLcBGAs/s1600/20190730_193508.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cLMgP6NGbbI/XU_b7XbHCXI/AAAAAAAABQ8/3Tokbnb1msAL8KDi1wkyOTVajtb0dmiTgCLcBGAs/s640/20190730_193508.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sober AF in Italy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eQWPQoyWH-8/XU_bnOLYx0I/AAAAAAAABQw/g8-U7bOOuFM7qnyqErMraD_KlcGfGOttACEwYBhgL/s1600/20190422_105520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eQWPQoyWH-8/XU_bnOLYx0I/AAAAAAAABQw/g8-U7bOOuFM7qnyqErMraD_KlcGfGOttACEwYBhgL/s640/20190422_105520.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sober on Easter. </td></tr>
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-41632616800318779712019-07-13T06:39:00.004-07:002019-07-13T06:39:49.144-07:00Post # 55: Oh Canada<b><span style="font-size: large;">Wow! This is my 55th blog post. 55 has always been such a happy, significant number to me, as I saw a lot of 5's in the year leading up to my move to Switzerland.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">5's (especially in sequence, like 55 or 555) hold the spiritual meaning of<i> change.</i> It's no wonder I was seeing 555 everywhere I looked, back then. I had a huge season of change, with marriage, first pregnancy and an international move all happening within days of each other.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I do things intensely, and all at once!</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Also significant is the fact that the theme of today's post is adapting to change. We just returned from 2 weeks in Canada, where we visited family and friends. What a SOUL NURTURING trip it was. I hadn't been home since October 2017, when Theo was 6 months old, so this trip was so necessary for me. </span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Not only did seeing my family and friends (and native land!) boost me up spiritually and emotionally, it allowed me to see that having two homes is OK. Loving people and things in Canada does not mean that I cannot love other people and other things in Switzerland! It's a balancing act, and it takes time to perfect. </span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But the truth is, when I don't go home regularly, I start to feel like I am depleting; emotionally and physically! Even though there are so many things that I love in Switzerland, I still need my Canadian roots to balance me out. So, from now on, we are going to make sure that we visit at least once a year. I still have my sights on a potential move back to Canada, but that's in the 3ish year plan, so I am still calling Swizzy home for now!!!</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I'm still kinda jet-lagged (so are the kiddos!) but honestly, cannot complain about how the trip went down. The boys were SO GOOD. They travelled well, didn't get sick or injured, slept well, had tons of fun. We went to tons of parks, a farm, a mall, saw suburban and city sights. Went to Ottawa to visit Parliament and family. Had a lot of beautiful moments with Granny.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Happy to be getting back to my groove here. Lots of exciting plans for the next few months, both personally and professionally.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Here are some photos of the trip:</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GheH672TneI/XSneBQgI1KI/AAAAAAAABN4/lCpAw_iFUN8RAYfaXq32-26JL3LPAHR2wCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190624_141314.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GheH672TneI/XSneBQgI1KI/AAAAAAAABN4/lCpAw_iFUN8RAYfaXq32-26JL3LPAHR2wCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190624_141314.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sometimes the stars align, and both toddlers nap on the plane at the same time, while your food is arriving. Miraculous <3</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k6YHwbOshn8/XSneBXMrSxI/AAAAAAAABN8/cRPlxuGRZxw9CSGkXHC5xAjol5JPULO7gCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190625_221950.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k6YHwbOshn8/XSneBXMrSxI/AAAAAAAABN8/cRPlxuGRZxw9CSGkXHC5xAjol5JPULO7gCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190625_221950.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cousin love! Xavier took to Theo instantly. These two had so much fun together. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gmgSpZeBXZ0/XSneBWFq6UI/AAAAAAAABN0/LBd8iQh4YJMUiJNW4rUnlGlKWQ3a1LTlwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190628_185948.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gmgSpZeBXZ0/XSneBWFq6UI/AAAAAAAABN0/LBd8iQh4YJMUiJNW4rUnlGlKWQ3a1LTlwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190628_185948.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two sisters being silly at the farm!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_dBEU4GTWQ/XSneCBFMSjI/AAAAAAAABOA/HKklUG1RtnoBazkh--TkcUOc4ruv93IJwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190630_230910.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_dBEU4GTWQ/XSneCBFMSjI/AAAAAAAABOA/HKklUG1RtnoBazkh--TkcUOc4ruv93IJwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190630_230910.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Besties 4 life! My roots, my heart, my girls. I have the best friends in the world <3</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rG_EaTA5N1Q/XSneCgSyE-I/AAAAAAAABOE/l7CUPzkQqO0o0MeB6agA2PIlRJL6mQlagCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190701_194838.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rG_EaTA5N1Q/XSneCgSyE-I/AAAAAAAABOE/l7CUPzkQqO0o0MeB6agA2PIlRJL6mQlagCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190701_194838.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baby pool fun on Canada Day</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c2X7R711lHE/XSneC4FmwxI/AAAAAAAABOI/FMZn6Z6x8Hc0Iw28NKGzK_GqSb6U90_4gCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190706_170708.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c2X7R711lHE/XSneC4FmwxI/AAAAAAAABOI/FMZn6Z6x8Hc0Iw28NKGzK_GqSb6U90_4gCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190706_170708.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Road trippin' to Ottawa</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SvYGM22ezP8/XSneDFQNauI/AAAAAAAABOM/NdjRQf9v3vgBMxlpNgM0o8pWvEl1dBfRwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_20190628_022541_427.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1279" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SvYGM22ezP8/XSneDFQNauI/AAAAAAAABOM/NdjRQf9v3vgBMxlpNgM0o8pWvEl1dBfRwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_IMG_20190628_022541_427.jpg" width="638" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sisters and hubby's (and my newest, mini nephew!)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eoUV7w6L98U/XSneDhWF6EI/AAAAAAAABOQ/R6EdYXv6oMkr8kOcpV-FX_ypJ_wxMSHyACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_20190708_211334_360.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eoUV7w6L98U/XSneDhWF6EI/AAAAAAAABOQ/R6EdYXv6oMkr8kOcpV-FX_ypJ_wxMSHyACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_IMG_20190708_211334_360.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Things That Shine magpie tattoo!!! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ihDvj5auEYo/XSneD-ZLiuI/AAAAAAAABOU/BD_2-23hi10J6vYXnlWPHsZQATz8mrDSQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_received_1153926191478159.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ihDvj5auEYo/XSneD-ZLiuI/AAAAAAAABOU/BD_2-23hi10J6vYXnlWPHsZQATz8mrDSQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_received_1153926191478159.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Too cute not to share both photos from Canada Day</td></tr>
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-69627105532965443642019-06-05T03:36:00.002-07:002019-06-05T03:59:12.146-07:00A Few Days Of Strange Happenings...<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Horrible happenings! I know that focusing on, and listing all the shitty things that have happened recently is probably a terrible idea, but I'm gonna do it anyway! You know how much I love terrible ideas.</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Seriously though, <span style="font-size: medium;">writing everything out helps me to process the underlying themes, messages and significances of these events.</span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It also provides an emotional release, which is always beneficial to spirit when you've had a few intense days.</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So, since Saturday, the following things have happened, leading me to believe that I'm cursed or being pointed towards some sort of lesson for growth (probably the latter, but it feels kind of like a curse sometimes haha)</b></span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>On Saturday, I had to bring Theo to the doctor because he was having an asthma attack. He was diagnosed with asthmatic bronchitis, and has been taking Ventolin to clear it up, since.</b></span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The next morning, when I called my mom to tell her about Theo's health, she told me that my uncle had an angina attack while golfing, and needed to have double bypass surgery.</b></span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>THEN, we find out that ANOTHER uncle (my husband's uncle) is in the hospital with pneumonia. He started to feel very sick while on vacation in Italy; his rental car also exploded in fire while they were driving through a tunnel, there. WTF</b></span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>We keep breaking things. First, Theo pulled a huge jar filled with dry pasta down from a shelf, Thomas broke a cereal bowl last night, and I just opened up the oven drawer to find that a casserole dish was broken. </b></span></li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9BaC8sXwVZI/XPeajmgkYUI/AAAAAAAABNE/JkSdTBmh5EMBrFmArmS3822thMp50iAkACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190605_105056.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9BaC8sXwVZI/XPeajmgkYUI/AAAAAAAABNE/JkSdTBmh5EMBrFmArmS3822thMp50iAkACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190605_105056.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I loved this thing and now it's broken :( At least it's from IKEA and we can afford a replacement</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lLjqSpxaig0/XPealATV7RI/AAAAAAAABNI/1vLu_QLog3IpLQiNsmkD5rK8jDBE4VoCgCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190605_120330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lLjqSpxaig0/XPealATV7RI/AAAAAAAABNI/1vLu_QLog3IpLQiNsmkD5rK8jDBE4VoCgCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190605_120330.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Legitimately pulled POSSESSIONS revered in my Rune reading this morning. Life seems to be forcing me to take inventory of what really matters to me. I swear, it's not my stuff! It's my people!!! <3</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I sliced open my thumb with a way-too-sharp knife (married to a chef, must use extra caution!) while cutting up strawberries for the boys. Looked up the significance of cutting left thumb and it basically indicated that I worry too much (did not need to cut thumb to know that!) and that motivation needs a boost. I can dig.</b></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Had a horrible panic attack yesterday. Pushed myself to go out for a walk, even though I was mentally and physically exhausted. It was extremely hot and humid, and I was just not feeling energized, but I pushed anyways. By the time I got into town, I was done. Had to sit down on the steps of the Congress Center for like 20 minutes to get my strength and breathing back to normal. Walked home and burst into tears when I got in the door. What is coming up here? So many emotions. It was like the straw that broke the camel's back (or the second camel. I also burst out in tears when I cut my thumb open, but that one really hurt!!!)</b></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Jake cut his gums this morning face-planting into the couch. Minor injury, but still! When will it end?!</b></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So that's the scoop on my doom and gloom for this week. I am keeping my sense of humour about the situation (while staying indoors where it's safe LOL) and resting as much as I can, cause I know I'm exhausted and need some self-care. Taking care of a sick baba, running after two insanely energetic toddlers everyday...it's a lot. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Hubby is being very supportive, as usual, and has Civil Protection duty this week, so he's home much earlier, and that is good!</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Hoping that the rest of the week brings miraculous shifts, safe encounters in the kitchen, and good health to all.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Also, shout-out to things that did go right, like being published in a magazine, working on the marketing side of my writing career, having a husband that loves and takes care of me.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Also, I know that the whole concept of good/bad and right/wrong and all tied to egotistical desires of specific outcomes. So like, everything is divinely perfect, always, I just have had a hard few days .</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.S. The two uncles' are recovering well, as is Theo <3</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.P.S. I forgot to mention that I spilled half a litre of milk in the microwave before.</span></b><br />
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Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-78017691344613407892019-05-25T02:25:00.000-07:002019-05-25T02:25:23.219-07:00Life Update #329<span style="font-size: large;">Hi!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Jeez, it's been ages since I've checked in here! Admittedly, I have been busy. Life is always quite full these days, with two toddlers on the go!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Nonetheless, I am here now, and have some stuff I wanna talk about.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here are my bullet-format updates for end of May, 2019:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">*The boys are now both toddlers. Both walking, getting into everything, exploring the world. It's a sweet phase, but also exhausting. I'm constantly chasing them down, pulling objects out of their hands/mouths, cleaning up messes etc; </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Active/messy/sleepless, but fun!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">They are starting to play really well together, and incidences of brother-biting are reducing each week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Thomas and I are taking way more advantage of his parents' help, so that we can focus on spending more time together, as a couple. I'm also doing at least 1-2 alone activities each week to try and recharge. Weekly yoga, swimming and reading/painting/writing to nurture my creative side.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">*We are going to Canada in one month!!! Cannot wait. I haven't been home since the Fall of 2017, and I'm really missing my peeps. Even though most of them came to me last summer, there's no place like home, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Speaking of home, I am almost at the 3-year mark of living in Switzerland. I'm starting to really feel the effects of being far away from my mom, sister, best friends etc;. The last year has been challenging in that respect. Despite having a really wonderful and supportive group of friends and family here in Switzerland, it's not the same. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It took me time to realize that a big part of the struggle in adapting is cultural; the Swiss, as lovely as they are, simply are not the warmest bunch! I struggle with the concept that improperly filling out a lottery ticket form warrants a full blown lecture from the Kiosk ladies (happened to me TWICE this week, dammit!!!). </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I just feel like it takes so little effort to be kind and reasonable; why do the Swiss insist on being so damn frigid? Anyways, this can be an entire sub-post, and I mean, I don't want to totally diss the Swiss. I have a Swiss husband, Swiss kiddos, and will myself become Swiss in 2 years. So, yeah. I love you Svizzera, but I have some conflicting emotions when it comes to your kindness/basic decency factor! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I don't want to lose my shine from being exposed to too many grump-a-lumps, to be honest. And, I also don't want to fall into a deep depression because I feel like it's such a struggle to get strangers to smile at me in the street. I have two freaking adorable babies with me all the time, and some people are still shooting death stares. Whyyyyyyy?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Anyways, we are starting to really work on our 5-year plan, and I can say with almost certainty that we will spend a few more years here, and then boot it back to Canada to buy a house and settle down for the kids to start school there. I need my momma. I also really want a house and a garden. And Tim Horton's. Poutine. Friends who have known me for 30 years. Random conversations with strangers in Pharmaprix. My old hairdresser. The parks I like in NDG. Shopping on Ste. Catherine street. Anyways, you get the picture! </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_mFO5acejrQ/XOkJbW7QuQI/AAAAAAAABMk/OMrkqvEkw3kRSitP23RW5xIBb7jSNma6QCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190524_132014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_mFO5acejrQ/XOkJbW7QuQI/AAAAAAAABMk/OMrkqvEkw3kRSitP23RW5xIBb7jSNma6QCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190524_132014.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hi! It's us. We were on a daytime date yesterday, which was glorious. Walking around town, going to lunch...even going to the bank to talk about our investments was fun! </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--GwRhZN3Udk/XOkJfqwPZ-I/AAAAAAAABMo/7ADzovkuhbwQ6k8FbtviCXi3Gb4ZX_xOwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20190522_092631.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--GwRhZN3Udk/XOkJfqwPZ-I/AAAAAAAABMo/7ADzovkuhbwQ6k8FbtviCXi3Gb4ZX_xOwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20190522_092631.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That small window where they are both still sort-of babies. They are both growing so quickly. <3</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*What else? Oh! I am going to be featured in Sovereign Magazine in June! They have done a feature about women entrepreneurs in Switzerland, and I'm thrilled to be part of the group.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I'm working hard at promoting Things That Shine; it is being sold in several bookstores already in the U.K., United States and Canada. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm lining up some more interviews, and will eventually start doing video interviews (gulp, <i>do I have to</i>???) </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm overwhelmed at the amount of talented and exceptional people I've met or connected with via networking since publishing. One of my favorite Hay House authors, Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, has become someone that I chat with regularly, and I'm more than a little in awe of her, and how cool it is to get to know her! I wrote an article on anxiety for her website, <i>Best Ever You!</i> last month, you can read that here:</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.besteveryou.com/post/taming-your-anxious-monkey-mind-one-battle-at-a-time"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.besteveryou.com/post/taming-your-anxious-monkey-mind-one-battle-at-a-time</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">*My big focus these days has been on minimizing. Minimizing belongings, minimizing stress, minimizing how much I expect of myself, minimizing toxins in the house (obsessed with Young Living Essential Oils), minimizing sugar, minimizing meat consumption haha. Basically letting shit go! Giving it all away!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">OK, that's it for now! Gotta get back to wiping tiny bums and mopping my food-incrusted tile floors haha</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">xo</span><br />
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-17203422249699618852019-02-18T05:13:00.002-08:002019-02-18T05:13:40.355-08:00INTRODUCING...Things That Shine: Poems<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I DID IT!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I published a damn book!</b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8ZzO6sGD5aw/XGqvY7VVgZI/AAAAAAAABKc/smdUyJGXDjkf85qCIVK7xg8Vyuj_hrndgCLcBGAs/s1600/Cover_l.gif.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="330" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8ZzO6sGD5aw/XGqvY7VVgZI/AAAAAAAABKc/smdUyJGXDjkf85qCIVK7xg8Vyuj_hrndgCLcBGAs/s640/Cover_l.gif.jpg" width="414" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My book has been born! <3</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>This is definitely the best natural high I have ever experienced (not counting getting married, birthing babies etc...)</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm so damn proud of myself.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>For so many years, I just wanted to share my feelings, thoughts and words with the world. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>This project is so dear to my heart.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So many fears, doubts and insecurities were given the ultimate send-off when I bravely opened my heart and decided that I was going to be vulnerable and share my story.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The truth is, I needed to write these words.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I need them as much as any outside reader might.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>This project has healed so many scars that were still stinging (even if just a little).</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So, without further ado, here is my newest baby.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><u></u><span style="background-color: cyan;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: cyan; font-size: large;"><b><u>Things That Shine: Poems</u></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: cyan; font-size: large;"><b><u>WRITTEN BY: Ariane Signer</u></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: cyan; font-size: large;"><b><u>Published by: Balboa Press</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><u></u><span style="background-color: cyan;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>You can order it on Amazon, Book Depository, Barnes & Noble, or by following this link to order directly from my publisher's website:</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.balboapress.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/790821-things-that-shine">https://www.balboapress.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/790821-things-that-shine</a>Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-79660416162513568642019-02-05T10:13:00.000-08:002019-02-05T10:13:05.185-08:00Almost Published!<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am going to be published in a matter of weeeeeeeeks!!!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>AH!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I have been dreaming/bucket-listing publishing a book for YEARS, and the dream is finally becoming a reality this spring!!!!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The original idea was to write about my sobriety journey. Though I am still super passionate about sober living (Day 543!) , and sharing that part of my story, I wrote a few chapters and then felt STUCK. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The book wasn't budging. I literally tried everything to inspire myself. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Read dozens of books in the quit-lit category. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Wrote in a journal. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Read back though old material. </b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">The project just wasn't ready to be born.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I felt stuck, and it made me feel really...not good. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I wanted to write, but it just wasn't coming. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So then, on November 11, 2018 (11/11) I went to bed and sent out a little request to the Universe. I had read that 11/11/18 was one of the most powerful manifesting dates in the past several hundred years, so I gave it a shot.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I asked for divine inspiration! </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Believe it or not, I woke up that very night, middle of the night, with an incredible surge of creativity, and a desire to write a poem. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I took out my phone's notepad feature, and started to write. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The words were just flowing out.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Two days later, I had eleven poems written.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>They just kept coming to me.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>For two and a half months, I wrote poems, edited them, rewrote them, deleted them. It was a super purifying and healing process, as a lot of the poems helped me put words to past traumas and work though some old, sad stuff.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Soon enough, I had so many poems, that I decided to publish.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I put my manuscript together, sent it off to Balboa House ( they are a division of Hay House, my dream publishing house!!!) and now I am in the creative stages of design and formatting.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I can't even believe this is happening, but at the same time, a part of me always knew that I would do great things with my writing.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So there you have it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>A little update on what I've been up to.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Writing poems (for the first time in my life, for the record).</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I can't wait to share the concept/theme and PUBLISHED COLLECTION this spring!!!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am bursting with excitement, but don't want to share too many details until I'm published!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Until then, you have to deal with my very infrequent blog updates.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Will try to get that more regular now that I am not so busy writing a damn book!!!</b></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gF_8rGnvG6o/XFnRE0LQpfI/AAAAAAAABJw/ZlXxSabUJ5Ia6NvTIU9NPrxjoAT39WNoQCLcBGAs/s1600/Ella%2BLacey%2BPhotography-46.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gF_8rGnvG6o/XFnRE0LQpfI/AAAAAAAABJw/ZlXxSabUJ5Ia6NvTIU9NPrxjoAT39WNoQCLcBGAs/s640/Ella%2BLacey%2BPhotography-46.jpg" width="426" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just an author in the forest! Photo by Ella Brown.</td></tr>
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Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-15752783973645782072018-12-21T03:31:00.002-08:002018-12-21T03:31:37.779-08:00Throwback To Summer 2018<div>
Even though colder weather has never really bothered me, I am starting to itch for the summer again!</div>
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I'm not sure I'll be able to top how amazing 2018 was, but we're definitely going to try!</div>
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Uploading some memories from a dreamy, warm and sunny summer.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gacV_CM8PJ0/XBzM7a2TB3I/AAAAAAAABGY/jf6x2xsDaCMczzEtbFXlTfxTrXV-SsL-ACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180707_162230.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gacV_CM8PJ0/XBzM7a2TB3I/AAAAAAAABGY/jf6x2xsDaCMczzEtbFXlTfxTrXV-SsL-ACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180707_162230.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful bride and groom. Vikki and Laurence tie the knot in Perth, Scotland. July, 2018</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5PYNb3fVels/XBzM7R5KBVI/AAAAAAAABGU/OT64QRiczaIcOXk7Zvphsjti8I11sDqEACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180707_173740.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5PYNb3fVels/XBzM7R5KBVI/AAAAAAAABGU/OT64QRiczaIcOXk7Zvphsjti8I11sDqEACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180707_173740.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A weekend away with Baby Jake!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-saul3ZRdAlo/XBzM7SEKxsI/AAAAAAAABGc/nknSzDU7bnUtXT6nwzm7HXfjZgnKpoSfACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180714_162808.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-saul3ZRdAlo/XBzM7SEKxsI/AAAAAAAABGc/nknSzDU7bnUtXT6nwzm7HXfjZgnKpoSfACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180714_162808.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Enjoying a summer lie down in the grass</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EuKF8i29r4c/XBzM8POyOtI/AAAAAAAABGg/6892qZ-0kJg30JY37uGup2k9hR3-ijK2QCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180723_212934.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EuKF8i29r4c/XBzM8POyOtI/AAAAAAAABGg/6892qZ-0kJg30JY37uGup2k9hR3-ijK2QCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180723_212934.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first bestie to arrive in Swizzy. Ashley and I in the Old Town</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HCvBOJ9pDe8/XBzM8Ps-9oI/AAAAAAAABGk/2ToLQZLBgrs11OxKEU3bx8UaFfdHyA0qQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180725_124501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HCvBOJ9pDe8/XBzM8Ps-9oI/AAAAAAAABGk/2ToLQZLBgrs11OxKEU3bx8UaFfdHyA0qQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180725_124501.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The gang <3</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qXkWkrI2sFk/XBzM8cZNQ1I/AAAAAAAABGo/j4naF3-vo2EV1mwM6By-GJUe9uQxMyJPQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180725_142535.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qXkWkrI2sFk/XBzM8cZNQ1I/AAAAAAAABGo/j4naF3-vo2EV1mwM6By-GJUe9uQxMyJPQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180725_142535.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Being tourist-y in town</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OQ92piaxjT8/XBzM8oHEotI/AAAAAAAABGs/BDqpVGbMrhoS4qbe21dX-MPBKQRZuenYgCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180726_111709.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OQ92piaxjT8/XBzM8oHEotI/AAAAAAAABGs/BDqpVGbMrhoS4qbe21dX-MPBKQRZuenYgCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180726_111709.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lake Day with Stef</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DW_t1TMvmv4/XBzM9OhFCLI/AAAAAAAABGw/Q8k_11lU8Q0mcZI-zCMWhg_ZYG6BCAswwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180726_113154.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DW_t1TMvmv4/XBzM9OhFCLI/AAAAAAAABGw/Q8k_11lU8Q0mcZI-zCMWhg_ZYG6BCAswwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180726_113154.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Canadian ladies. Friends for 20+ years </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-48IQ1SLZ-iE/XBzM9K9A9GI/AAAAAAAABG0/vKpLghvuxiU2Y9biQOHDJMs-hUej14l1gCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180726_122214.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-48IQ1SLZ-iE/XBzM9K9A9GI/AAAAAAAABG0/vKpLghvuxiU2Y9biQOHDJMs-hUej14l1gCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180726_122214.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think this was the best day of my life. Scream-laughing in the lake for hours with the silliest girls</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mc1eSLgSY68/XBzM9eYrLeI/AAAAAAAABG4/zCVAYsZxegM9HC9jQDbVcInQr_vzPwfxwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180726_125144.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mc1eSLgSY68/XBzM9eYrLeI/AAAAAAAABG4/zCVAYsZxegM9HC9jQDbVcInQr_vzPwfxwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180726_125144.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And tanning</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w-uSvvA3uUQ/XBzM9o1JrpI/AAAAAAAABG8/wPeQ2PqId1M2dMRRr23PME08iZa2Upr6wCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180726_154902.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w-uSvvA3uUQ/XBzM9o1JrpI/AAAAAAAABG8/wPeQ2PqId1M2dMRRr23PME08iZa2Upr6wCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180726_154902.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lago Lodge</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vN0rI4Jc0uA/XBzM951vYXI/AAAAAAAABHA/dhlsTNA-ReEdoSCJ-wspRvkcMq2S8W6pACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180726_165142.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vN0rI4Jc0uA/XBzM951vYXI/AAAAAAAABHA/dhlsTNA-ReEdoSCJ-wspRvkcMq2S8W6pACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180726_165142.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jakey having a snack with Steffy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nbx-7ShbdkM/XBzM9ynxFxI/AAAAAAAABHE/5IggnjMTSh8JIM9Q8eejGkQCN9VtaxHrwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180726_183224.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nbx-7ShbdkM/XBzM9ynxFxI/AAAAAAAABHE/5IggnjMTSh8JIM9Q8eejGkQCN9VtaxHrwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180726_183224.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bus stop selfies</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YLvMTNdKQzc/XBzM-AJG7HI/AAAAAAAABHI/xSf18dKB9IksRhzj9XlJwsnnmREm43TAACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180727_112424.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YLvMTNdKQzc/XBzM-AJG7HI/AAAAAAAABHI/xSf18dKB9IksRhzj9XlJwsnnmREm43TAACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180727_112424.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spiez</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7qqGQLeBFa0/XBzM-u37_bI/AAAAAAAABHM/sSEe_4FgfxgffdoNDgGwVEG0F_8IcMarQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180727_113425.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7qqGQLeBFa0/XBzM-u37_bI/AAAAAAAABHM/sSEe_4FgfxgffdoNDgGwVEG0F_8IcMarQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180727_113425.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taking time to smell the roses</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wJzYXkRsBaM/XBzM-8Yra-I/AAAAAAAABHQ/StR-HBlpy_MhnkahnZRIe837H3lmpohnQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180727_115230.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wJzYXkRsBaM/XBzM-8Yra-I/AAAAAAAABHQ/StR-HBlpy_MhnkahnZRIe837H3lmpohnQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180727_115230.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soul sista</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u></u><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X8rwU_8rjHs/XBzM_8gVB5I/AAAAAAAABHc/hPP7W9fEVlcZXV5yQou-1whfqd9lMHe3ACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180727_135034.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X8rwU_8rjHs/XBzM_8gVB5I/AAAAAAAABHc/hPP7W9fEVlcZXV5yQou-1whfqd9lMHe3ACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180727_135034.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ferry ride to Thun</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FkXdsaavSZo/XBzNAL10fCI/AAAAAAAABHg/O9D0pxWGBU8EhvFU_UA5MnvjZi36LGdFQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180804_233749.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FkXdsaavSZo/XBzNAL10fCI/AAAAAAAABHg/O9D0pxWGBU8EhvFU_UA5MnvjZi36LGdFQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180804_233749.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I miss my breast-feeding boobies. They're gone</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vi6yLgl7tkw/XBzNAUcCi1I/AAAAAAAABHk/KS12f-KPD2wsVdla19W2pf6aMxVCcI6AgCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180805_211629.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vi6yLgl7tkw/XBzNAUcCi1I/AAAAAAAABHk/KS12f-KPD2wsVdla19W2pf6aMxVCcI6AgCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180805_211629.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunset at home <3</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uROHXBHtviM/XBzNAmQfZ7I/AAAAAAAABHo/PXPmIS4sX7kmFnIHXbRRk6d0ovcroBgYwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180809_141257.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uROHXBHtviM/XBzNAmQfZ7I/AAAAAAAABHo/PXPmIS4sX7kmFnIHXbRRk6d0ovcroBgYwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180809_141257.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baby besties</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HCOepbB2KcA/XBzNAuuyd2I/AAAAAAAABHs/EkBG80mwvoAdi6QWYjpcGwRZganmF640QCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180810_150256.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HCOepbB2KcA/XBzNAuuyd2I/AAAAAAAABHs/EkBG80mwvoAdi6QWYjpcGwRZganmF640QCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180810_150256.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Little bubs</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HexBIV01DZE/XBzNA8C_lFI/AAAAAAAABHw/63lrpWTgMDMNBEEHSFkKN_QDaDJ6LFA0QCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180821_093208.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HexBIV01DZE/XBzNA8C_lFI/AAAAAAAABHw/63lrpWTgMDMNBEEHSFkKN_QDaDJ6LFA0QCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180821_093208.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A getaway to Stresa, Italy</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KtcvM7ELzlg/XBzNBA1-tKI/AAAAAAAABH0/xrYIPgDbF2oZDaYnk_UyIUijqFECdcPFwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180821_095434.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KtcvM7ELzlg/XBzNBA1-tKI/AAAAAAAABH0/xrYIPgDbF2oZDaYnk_UyIUijqFECdcPFwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180821_095434.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Too hot for clothes! Italian milkshakes</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z520hvQDn5Q/XBzNBvJ0JOI/AAAAAAAABH4/YxnGhBb6UIIhQdGeluvGxbkgOJ4DjEdzQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20180822_121353.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z520hvQDn5Q/XBzNBvJ0JOI/AAAAAAAABH4/YxnGhBb6UIIhQdGeluvGxbkgOJ4DjEdzQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20180822_121353.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tree-huffing with momma</td></tr>
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Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-11588433346098179542018-12-19T10:14:00.001-08:002018-12-19T10:14:20.155-08:00The Fog Is Lifting<b><span style="font-size: large;">The fog is lifting...metaphorically, and literally!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yJRi3zt4QMg/XBqJMYcnenI/AAAAAAAABGI/jnE-kvDTYx8mVSlosr7Q1-OEb18qnAT9wCLcBGAs/s1600/Foggy-Fall-walk-near-Biel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yJRi3zt4QMg/XBqJMYcnenI/AAAAAAAABGI/jnE-kvDTYx8mVSlosr7Q1-OEb18qnAT9wCLcBGAs/s640/Foggy-Fall-walk-near-Biel.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div>
<u><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;">I didn't take this photo, but it was taken in my town, and that's my fog!!!</span></u></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u></u><u></u><span style="color: #007600;"></span><u></u><span style="color: #b01100;"></span><span style="color: black;"></span><br /></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">It's been a really drab fall in my part of Switzerland, and though I am used to the Canadian cold, we have a hell of a lot more sunshine!!!</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Vitamin D extra strength tablets and a better diet, more rest and some soul nourishment are doing the trick, though.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Here are some super great things that are going on now:</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Doing a lot more social stuff lately.</u> I've been pretty good at keeping up with baby/momma activities and play dates over the last few months, but now I am craving some one-on-one adult time! I've been working on doing at least 1-2 social events a week (that do not include kiddos) to "treat myself". Usually this means a quick coffee/tea or a walk, but more recently I have been doing 1/2 day outings and trying to see more of Switzerland! I know, how adventurous of me to spend an entire half day away from my children hehe. <3</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Way more dates!</u> Other than the friend activities, hubs and I have been focusing much more on our alone time, together. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>We've made a small bucket list of date ideas to keep us going for the next several months. In the past 3 weeks we did a day out in Bern with spa visit and dinner, drove into Germany to do a big shopping run and have lunch, and visited our friends in a neighbouring village for lunch. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>These little pauses are so necessary! It's so therapeutic to be together, with no actual responsibilities (besides what restaurant to eat at, or what music to listen to in the car.)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Vacation Planning.</u> Earlier this year we sort of overdid it with the amount of guests we hosted (so soon after our youngest son was born), and still pushed ourselves to go to Italy and Scotland (super fun, but still, quite tiring when you add up all the days of moving without proper rest!). </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So, I was a bit hesitant to start planning vacations again (to start dreaming again? haha) but finally, I knew I had to get back to my sunshine-y self and book! So we are going to the Canary Islands with my husbands' parents in March. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>That will be our beach/relax and tan/ swim etc; vacation, and then we're going to Canada at the end of June for two and a half weeks!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And that will be the soul-nurturing/family time/snuggle new baby niece or nephew and hug besties as tight as I can trip.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Will maybe add on a few days in England at some point but I'm not rushing that right now!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Excited to just move a little!!!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Life Coaching/Getting Back Into My Groove! </u> I'm working with my bestie Sally to get myself as aligned with my true self as possible! </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Just two chats with her and I'm feeling SO MUCH MORE LIKE</b><i> </i><b>MYSELF. It's crazy how we can lose our sparkly side just by being too busy/tired/gloomy/hormonal etc. Not no more! </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm coming back, and better than ever. I've done so much inner work and it's time to just fully step into the amazing life I've created. No more fear, just love and trust.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>S</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>he's helping me to uncover a lot of patterns/habits and tendencies that are not serving me (even if they come from a good place!) </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Here are a few things I am working on:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><i></i><b></b><i></i><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>*Allowing myself to FEEL my feelings, without judging them. </u>I'm always so hard on myself when I feel negative/sad/disappointed etc;, but these are natural human emotions, and I've swallowed a lot of them down over the years (at least not being chased down with wine anymore!)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><i></i><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>*Stop trying to fix things all the time. </u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>T</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>he truth is, I'm an</b><i> </i><b>empath by nature, and I really hate it when I find myself in situations where I'm fighting with/not happy with/sending mean vibes to/receiving mean vibes from another person/people. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm realizing, with Sally's help, that this is tied in to not allowing myself to validate my own feelings. It's time to stop always trying to make nice, and give myself permission to feel hurt/sad/angry/annoyed by certain people or situations. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Feel it, then release it. A much better solution than feeling it, feeling terrible, trying to fix it, keeping the hurt inside, letting it stagnate etc!!!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><b></b><b></b><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><u></u><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>*Remembering "ghetto Ariane" still exists.</u> I love this so much. It's true, though. When in the hell did I become the kind of woman who backs down from uncool situations? When did I become the kind of person who puts other people's potential pain above her own?! I'm glad that I'm empathetic and all, it shows that my heart isn't black, but come on! </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>It's OK for me to feel the way I feel. Full stop.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I have to seriously remember that I come first. It's great to be sweet and loving and to apologize for our past wrongs, but there should also be limits. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I, up until very recently, was handing out apologies to people (or trying to make situations "better", even if no apology was given) waaaaaay too generously.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Why apologize to people who aren't even nice to begin with? People who don't have anything to do with your life (good) and who were booted out for a damn good reason?! Why would I subject myself to their immaturity and inability to take accountability for their own wrongdoings? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The type of people who "accept" an apology and then make a super rude/hurtful comment cause THEY ARE ASSHOLES and don't know how to be graceful.</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Yeah. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">No more of that.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I'm not mad, but I'm not Miss. Pushover anymore, either.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">No more olive branches for people who will just make fires from them.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">K, BYE!</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><3</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.S. That felt damn good to get out</span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Repressing our emotions leads to tons of diseases and disharmonies in our bodies, so it's time to LET DAT SHIT GO!!! </span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b></b><u></u><b></b><u></u><br />
<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-60776565756516807712018-12-08T12:42:00.003-08:002018-12-08T12:42:30.274-08:00DREAMBOARD<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Looking at beautiful pictures is good for the soul.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><3</span></b></div>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XtkTipfFURw/XAwrFBHTyxI/AAAAAAAABDM/iVQhD_KatTkNuoBG8S2Zos7eI8j30E3LgCLcBGAs/s1600/0_my_photographs_montreal_summer_sunrise_1rq27_1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="680" data-original-width="1024" height="424" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XtkTipfFURw/XAwrFBHTyxI/AAAAAAAABDM/iVQhD_KatTkNuoBG8S2Zos7eI8j30E3LgCLcBGAs/s640/0_my_photographs_montreal_summer_sunrise_1rq27_1024.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My city <3 Starting to consider moving back and establishing ourselves there in a few years...TBD</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yTU9U0VKhfE/XAwrGRd5hGI/AAAAAAAABDc/RhDha73BBaM2CIjJc1EYdRPT3h5lqR1JACLcBGAs/s1600/jJYCv7U.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yTU9U0VKhfE/XAwrGRd5hGI/AAAAAAAABDc/RhDha73BBaM2CIjJc1EYdRPT3h5lqR1JACLcBGAs/s640/jJYCv7U.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These colours are pure perfection. Makes me want to wear orange and pink.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YXcrxGNEsfQ/XAwrFAr5W5I/AAAAAAAABDI/Pf_o1P-d81Icwp7aJcuJVfoPV9p5qPD1gCLcBGAs/s1600/Most-Beautiful-Sunset-Pictures-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="839" data-original-width="1600" height="334" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YXcrxGNEsfQ/XAwrFAr5W5I/AAAAAAAABDI/Pf_o1P-d81Icwp7aJcuJVfoPV9p5qPD1gCLcBGAs/s640/Most-Beautiful-Sunset-Pictures-17.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That bench, tho.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XS7y4QasUjI/XAwrGg2d-BI/AAAAAAAABDg/84Hb0CWhSpIwofPwmC6TzYvGIXuBWAR3ACLcBGAs/s1600/p-02162h_54_990x660_201404240324.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="990" height="426" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XS7y4QasUjI/XAwrGg2d-BI/AAAAAAAABDg/84Hb0CWhSpIwofPwmC6TzYvGIXuBWAR3ACLcBGAs/s640/p-02162h_54_990x660_201404240324.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whenever I think it's cold in Switzerland, I just remember walking in Montreal, on ice, in arctic temperatures. Ah, memories.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UoWu2Mh6SYs/XAwrFGJE1BI/AAAAAAAABDQ/eatmKLSDQsMbkOmjMaM_HToisbZWOSKfwCLcBGAs/s1600/Pause.007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="480" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UoWu2Mh6SYs/XAwrFGJE1BI/AAAAAAAABDQ/eatmKLSDQsMbkOmjMaM_HToisbZWOSKfwCLcBGAs/s640/Pause.007.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I like this a lot. I am finding myself very thankful these days. It changes everything.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6mK4umT9tr8/XAwrGtC4QaI/AAAAAAAABDk/yLiQwGxYOn0xf5KMz_EQqMSfeWyEcCS4gCLcBGAs/s1600/peaceful-walk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="550" height="424" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6mK4umT9tr8/XAwrGtC4QaI/AAAAAAAABDk/yLiQwGxYOn0xf5KMz_EQqMSfeWyEcCS4gCLcBGAs/s640/peaceful-walk.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An obsession that started long ago. Trees!!! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f6-Ziyrkot4/XAwrFyNspxI/AAAAAAAABDU/MnP-m4Fcw9o4pk_m65qExWVe1VILDx-8ACLcBGAs/s1600/Positive-Attitude-Quotes-24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1039" data-original-width="1600" height="414" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f6-Ziyrkot4/XAwrFyNspxI/AAAAAAAABDU/MnP-m4Fcw9o4pk_m65qExWVe1VILDx-8ACLcBGAs/s640/Positive-Attitude-Quotes-24.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hell yes. And the sunshine is always back.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O_nl6ce2utU/XAwrHICeGKI/AAAAAAAABDo/T0hYt7IxSt8kNrPPjQQ1-mFaBmPkI-TEwCLcBGAs/s1600/quotes-every-moment-oprah-600x411.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="411" data-original-width="600" height="438" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O_nl6ce2utU/XAwrHICeGKI/AAAAAAAABDo/T0hYt7IxSt8kNrPPjQQ1-mFaBmPkI-TEwCLcBGAs/s640/quotes-every-moment-oprah-600x411.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2019 goals that I am starting right now. All praise the Queen, Oprah. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SXtBWdyYUoc/XAwrGCCvLkI/AAAAAAAABDY/_cydxeC6a3gu0j4eHKIXgkbwjk7RVsRgQCLcBGAs/s1600/Rumi-Quotes-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="612" height="458" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SXtBWdyYUoc/XAwrGCCvLkI/AAAAAAAABDY/_cydxeC6a3gu0j4eHKIXgkbwjk7RVsRgQCLcBGAs/s640/Rumi-Quotes-1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You will.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-15221671367197152262018-12-04T03:49:00.002-08:002018-12-04T03:49:34.679-08:00Spending Time In The Shadows<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The past couple of months have been kind of challenging. </span></b></div>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">A mix of homesickness, foggy weather, 16-hour a day parenting shifts and postpartum hormonal readjustment...that's quite a lot for anyone to have to deal with at the same time, right?</span></b></div>
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<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I have always been proud of myself for persevering, for getting myself back into the sunshine after tough times, and I'm definitely on my way. This period of moody blues has given me some much needed time to reflect on certain things, though, and for that, I am grateful.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Without the shadows, how could we possibly know the light?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Without life pushing you into discomfort temporarily, how would we know grace and acceptance? (Of self and others)</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Without the dark times, there just wouldn't be room for growth, for change, for transformation.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Of course, when you're in the thick of it, it doesn't seem so promising. It's hard to tap into the wisdom of the Universe when you feel kind of low, but that's exactly when we need to rely on our guides even more.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">So here are few of the things I've learnt in the past few weeks, as I am working on getting myself out of this temporary slump and back into the sunshine!</span></b></div>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">It's important that we forgive ourselves, even if others don't</span></b></u></div>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></u></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Yep. We all know that we are our own biggest critics. That horrible voice (which has been referred to as "The Chatterbox" in a book I recently read) can definitely dampen our spirits and make us feel like a bag of dicks.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>We're SO damn hard on ourselves, and it can actually make us unwell.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>It's time to go easy, let things go.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Little things, big things, all things that don't serve you or make you feel good!</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Go easy.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Mistakes are learning curves, and push you closer and closer to balance and bliss...IF YOU LET THEM.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don't let life's experiences harden you.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Stay open.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Let things teach you, and then let them pass through you.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
<div>
<u><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I have the world's best husband and kids</b></span></u></div>
<div>
<u></u><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Could I love the man I married any more than I do? Wow. </b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What a rock. He allows me to be sad/moody/lonely/overtired etc; in the most wonderfully supportive way.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>In a safe place.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>He does extra every damn day to help me out.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>No complaints ever.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And, on the subject of complaints, he has to deal with me being a whiny biatch when I'm tired/anxious/tired/sad that the sun's not out/missing home etc etc etc.</b></span></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He literally holds me up like a support beam when I need him to.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">He's one of the main incentives I have to get myself back to bubbly and joyful.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">And the babies.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Oh my goodness.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I don't know how one girl got so lucky to have been blessed with two of the sweetest, silliest and more loving boys in the world. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">High energy, but they are just balls of love and laughs.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aBeHAAJtxig/XAZpL-ufkPI/AAAAAAAABCs/7AFrCj0dTyseSnOyTH6G8brLnEYS_am6ACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20181123_133943.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aBeHAAJtxig/XAZpL-ufkPI/AAAAAAAABCs/7AFrCj0dTyseSnOyTH6G8brLnEYS_am6ACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20181123_133943.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hi Husband! The best guy in the world. This was right before our spa date 2 weeks ago. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0kCrE8fTs48/XAZpfbtW0WI/AAAAAAAABC0/iWDj7knHSXozkZatYK4CMFQnlOQMQQ3OwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20181114_153133.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0kCrE8fTs48/XAZpfbtW0WI/AAAAAAAABC0/iWDj7knHSXozkZatYK4CMFQnlOQMQQ3OwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20181114_153133.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When your big baby teaches your little baby how to use a sippy cup! Cutest thing ever.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LBKLgI4DM0Q/XAZpfd9cSFI/AAAAAAAABC4/mXUrEOW4iPEeINmRsjFEcUIS6s_ky3b9ACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_20181124_161014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LBKLgI4DM0Q/XAZpfd9cSFI/AAAAAAAABC4/mXUrEOW4iPEeINmRsjFEcUIS6s_ky3b9ACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_20181124_161014.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just holding hands on a walk like bros do. <3</td></tr>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">It's fun to look forward to better times, and know that they are on their way</span></u></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>They are! The clouds always pass. The fog lessens. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The kids grow up a little bit and stop demanding round-the-clock attention. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The schedule gets a bit less hectic.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>You start to use the in-laws more for babysitting and go back to dating your husband and going out with friends.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>You realize that the darkness makes for great writing material. You publish that damn book. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Y</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>ou go to the beach and allow yourself to slow down and enjoy the sun and watch your babies play.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And you'll eventually come to appreciate just how much you did, in 2 short years. And how much you've changed.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And how much better music sounds now, and how much stronger your love is for everyone.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And how much less you care about what other people think of you. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And how much less angry and sad you are.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>And how it all had a purpose, all along.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><3</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>P.S. My dear friend Sally is helping me "get my sparkle back". She is an amazing trained and certified coach and nutritionist.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>You can visit her here:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://womenwithsparkle.com/">http://womenwithsparkle.com/</a></b></span></div>
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Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-58233577716169648692018-10-13T13:53:00.004-07:002018-10-13T13:54:59.608-07:00Writing Withdrawal<span style="font-size: large;">I have writing withdrawal and I feel it in my BONES! Lately, I haven't been writing much. Something about having two babies under 18 months old seems to keep me fairly occupied, with not so much free time for personal projects.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Buuuut….I need to do it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I've been working on my book, for what seems like a million years. It's "in progress" (like me!) but this week, I finally allowed myself to lower my expectations about when it will be published. For some reason, I have been feeling like I just NEED to publish by the end of this year. As if I need to validate what I've been up to professionally in the last couple of years. Why??</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I need to really let go of the self-imposed deadlines and pressure. Writing a book is important, but right now, my mom work is more important. My babies are young and need my full attention, and I want to give it to them 100%.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I just feel like I'm forcing too hard if I push to publish for a specific date, when I really want the writing to be holistic and natural.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I might just do more blogging, in the meantime, to get my fix!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was re-reading some old posts and feeling nostalgic.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Writing really is therapeutic for me.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, here's a little listicle of what's been going on, to keep my many readers (LOL) up-to-date:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Summer was fun, but intense. Possibly overdid it with the visits, travelling and constant moving.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was operating at full steam since Jake was born, with very little downtime.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-End of August I had a mini crash! Not a car crash, but a personal crash. Due to the overworking/over-travelling/over-hosting/over-doing everything, I just hit a wall. I had a panic attack the day of my grandmother-in-law's funeral, which sparked a couple of weeks of not feeling great. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It had been so long that I had felt the symptoms of anxiety (usually hits me as vertigo/spinning feeling/dizzy/accelerated heartrate etc.;) that I actually blamed it on ill-fitting contact lenses at first (so cute!).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So after that initially mild reaction/explanation, I went into a totally unexpected frenzy of worry/health anxiety. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I thought something was seriously wrong with my physical health.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was, for the first time in a long time, really afraid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I cried a lot and needed to rely on my husband a lot to help me (emotionally and psychologically, more than anything).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I went for blood tests and saw two optometrists. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was fine. I am fine.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Super healthy. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Bloodwork fine.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Heartrate actually at optimal level.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">(Contact lenses were the wrong base curve, but this has been corrected, and obvi, not the reason I went into a panic haha).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Basically my body and mind were just EXHAUSTED and the anxiety was my body's way of signalling a time-out</span>.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Hubby was SO extremely supportive and helpful while I got myself back to feeling well. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When I'm really, truly scared, he just knows exactly what to do.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Every day he took the kids out so I could do yoga and meditation to get back to a more balanced state.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He bought me medicinal marijuana (LOL) and lots of snacks.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He listened to me, really listened, for as long as I needed to talk.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He reassured me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He held me when I needed extra comfort.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He made me laugh.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He cancelled his commitments to take care of me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I love him.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So I did an overhaul on my commitments, decided that I needed more nature/quiet time/alone time/exercise/water etc.; and then got on that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">6 weeks later, I feel remarkably better.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I still have some mild anxiety symptoms at times, but adapting my schedule and busyness really helped!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I also need to practice being gentle with myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have always been a "I-CAN-DO-IT-WITHOUT-HELP-THANKS" type. I just like getting things done, by myself, and for myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There is a level of pride in this, but sometimes, it's detrimental.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Asking for a little assistance is OK.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have a wonderful mother and father-in-law who love seeing their grandbabies and taking them to the park, so I am taking more advantage of that these days!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And while the babies are out, I usually go for a swim or do something else nice for myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Just getting that work/life/social life balance down!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My babies are also getting "older"(LOL as the "oldest is only 18 months old) but I feel like we are getting to a place where things will slow down a little, now.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Theo is much more independent, and Jake is a super fast learner, since he is looking up to his big bro and trying to mimic his ways.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So that's basically where we're at!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Today is Jake's 6 months, and I am 6 months postpartum and down 45 pounds! I'm sure it would be more if I didn't eat so much damn chocolate, but I am not giving that shit up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<u><span style="font-size: large;">Things I'm obsessed with these days:</span></u><br />
<u></u><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Composting/recycling</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Walking in different parts of our neighbourhood/exploring the streets I didn't know existed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Chocolate</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Cleaning and organizing (this is not new)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-My babies and hubby </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Trying to find out if my neighbour stole my Nike workout pants, or if I just misplaced them</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Being OK with the world, as it is. Not stressing at all over things. Feeling like all my energies towards people are either positive or neutral. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Sunflowers</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Everyone else's pregnancies! I have a pregnant friend, sister, step-sister, other friend....it's super exciting to put my full attention into other people's baby-growing chronicles for a change! And so excited to meet more babies. <3</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-Still excited about being sober, but I'm so used to not drinking that it's not as much of a "thing" anymore. Day 428. I just don't drink!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Will write more soon</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><3</span><br />
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-76703787685707798282018-08-11T04:50:00.001-07:002018-08-11T04:50:37.708-07:00ONE YEAR SOBER!!! <span style="font-size: large;"><b>Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Today marks my one year sober-versary. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am beyond proud.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gSkKDdpjV94/W27MDLeyvXI/AAAAAAAABCM/91Dk_YyGqFkCuhfh_CJkNCtyS07NaD1XACLcBGAs/s1600/1-Year-Sober.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="304" data-original-width="304" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gSkKDdpjV94/W27MDLeyvXI/AAAAAAAABCM/91Dk_YyGqFkCuhfh_CJkNCtyS07NaD1XACLcBGAs/s640/1-Year-Sober.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Haven't been this stone-cold sober since I was 12. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>For the last several years, I flirted with the notion of long-term sobriety, but I was always afraid to commit. When I jumped fully onto the wagon (with no padding), I didn't realize that I would literally undergo a complete transformation.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I an now much more in touch with source energy, my emotional guidance system, and my TRUE self.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am in control of my life, and I make good choices that affect my family positively.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I no longer have to worry about self-made drama, exaggerated anxiety and feeling sick from too much booze.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>A year ago, my voice shook when I told people I quit drinking. Today, I am happy to talk about my experiences, out loud, and non-anonymously. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When I share my story and help others, I am really fulfilling my soul calling.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>There are millions more things I can add to this, but instead of writing them here, they are going straight into my book!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am aiming for an end of year wrap up on this project! Yeah!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">To commemorate my sober birthday, I teamed up with the lovely and very funny Dawn from SoberFish.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">As part of her #club365 project, I shared my journey to sobriety.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">You can read that HERE:</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<a href="http://soberfish.co.uk/club365-ariane-my-soberversary-story/"><b><span style="font-size: large;">http://soberfish.co.uk/club365-ariane-my-soberversary-story/</span></b></a><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Hugs and huge glasses of sparkling water to all!!!</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.S. Huge, HUGE thanks go out to everyone I met along the way that supported my sobriety journey. Friends, family, Instagrammers, forum posters...the love and strength you provided will not be forgotten <3</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">P.P.S. Kelly Osbourne just celebrated her 1 year sober-versary on August 9. I feel strangely connected to her cause of this!!</span></b><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CGg-IIf3eoE/W27NHgexRrI/AAAAAAAABCU/JWop7jEdc34AbPcpSEbjSX0qyUeTdfxPwCLcBGAs/s1600/Kelly-Osbourne-Celebrates-One-Year-of-Sobriety.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="360" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CGg-IIf3eoE/W27NHgexRrI/AAAAAAAABCU/JWop7jEdc34AbPcpSEbjSX0qyUeTdfxPwCLcBGAs/s640/Kelly-Osbourne-Celebrates-One-Year-of-Sobriety.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Huge milestone for Kelly Osbourne and I'm loving these braids!!! #hairgoals</td></tr>
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-90821042453872445162018-06-19T05:59:00.000-07:002018-06-19T05:59:52.730-07:00It's OK To Be Proud Of Yourself<b><span style="font-size: large;">Life is busy. Sometimes hard. And we can sometimes fall into periods where we get down on ourselves for not doing enough, not being enough, not having enough etc;</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Whether it's money, time, chores or physical appearance, we can be really, really self-critical.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Our inner judge (the ego) can make us feel like we're just not doing a good enough job...of anything.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Add in a society that tells us that we have to look a certain way, be perfect parents, work hard and succeed in the labour force, and you have a perfect storm.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">You meet friends to catch up, and spend most of the time complaining about what isn't going right.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">You gossip about others.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">You feed the bad feelings/emotions and thoughts with more negativity, and eventually you have a pretty unhappy reality going on.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">So- what if I told you that you can break the cycle?!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Changing our thoughts isn't an easy task, but it can be done, one small step at a time.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Becoming more mindful can literally change your life.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">So how do you start?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Well, the good news is that you have a natural built-in tool to let you know if you're on track or not with your actions and thoughts. Your EGS (emotional guidance system) is like a GPS, but for your thoughts and actions.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">It's a very simple tool.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">If something feels good, makes you proud and happy, you're on the right track.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">If something drains you, makes you sad, angry or anxious, you need some shifting.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">This can be applied to EVERYTHING in life.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Thinking bad thoughts about someone. Feeling not good enough. Comparing yourself to others.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">All of these things make you feel bad, right? Well that's because they aren't tapping into LOVE, which is our natural essence and purpose on this planet.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Thinking loving thoughts. Giving hugs. Helping others.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Those things feel great, right?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">That's because you are aligning with your true source.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">One small shift a day can turn into a life of happy and blissed out feelings and experiences.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">But you have to start.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Why don't you get out a pen and paper and write down the things you are proud of? The things that make you happy? What are some things you are great at, or did recently that made you feel good?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">By practicing gratitude for the good, you will only welcome more of it into your life.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">We're told that to be proud is to be boastful and self-centered, but it is by feeling good about ourselves FIRST that we can be of better service to others.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">So if you see someone who's super happy and looks like life is easy, instead of being jealous or resentful, think of why they are that way. Probably because they put self-care and self-love first (as they should, and as everyone should!!!)</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Here's my list of proud moments:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">-I'm proud of myself for following my heart, leaving my home country to be with the man I love, even if it meant sacrificing time and experiences with some very special people in my life (my mom, sister, best friends etc!)</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">-I'm proud of my body for carrying two beautiful babies, very close together</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I'm proud of how much love I give to my children. Even if some days I do feel like I'm not doing enough, or not doing it "right", I know that I am raising them in a very loving environment with lots of support and room to grow up to be who they want to be</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I'm proud of myself for quitting drinking when it was getting to be a problem in my life. I can't even imagine going back to a life where I need to numb out to deal with feelings/stress or LIFE anymore</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I'm proud of myself for always trying to be better. My quest for self-improvement seems to be never-ending, but every year I get closer to my true self and my creator (s)/ universe </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I'm proud of myself for choosing the right person to raise a family with. The path was sprinkled with many unfit partners, but I found my diamond in the rough</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I'm proud of myself for letting go of old belief patterns that no longer serve me</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I'm proud of myself for the way that I nurture my good friendships. I have the most amazing friends in my life- women and men who I can depend on for anything, and have never doubted</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I am proud of myself for being a stay-at-home-mom. Not everyone has the opportunity to stay home with their kids and I am so fortunate to be able to spend this much time with them when they are little. I know I will one day return to work- when it feels right- but right now, this is where I am needed</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I am proud of myself for getting over body issues. I used to be so hard on myself. Now, I realize that life is really too short to body-shame. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>-I am proud of myself for continuing to write, even if no one is reading. I know that this blog probably doesn't get a lot of attention, and that's OK. I do it for me. I'll have a massive following when my book comes out, anyways.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>xoxxoxo</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Happy sunny Tuesday (to me? LOL) or anyone who took the time to read this!!!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-37133119777169066732018-06-06T01:17:00.001-07:002018-06-06T01:17:25.029-07:00Adapting To Life With Two Under Two!<b><span style="font-size: large;">Well, it was actually two under one for 9 days! Having two babies within 12 months has been totally insane and ALL worth it.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Sitting here, while both babies nap and I have my first "quiet hour" of the day, I still can't believe that we did this haha</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Two years ago, around this time, I was planning our wedding, getting things in order for my move to Switzerland and babies weren't even on my mind. I had too much to think about with immigration paperwork and getting rid of my apartment and furniture.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I've said it before, and I'll say it again: life delivers.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">So how is life with two demanding little babs who are both going through completely different phases?</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">It's great.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Honestly, I feel like people almost expect to hear you complain about "how hard it is" or how tired you are, or how you need a break (or a glass of wine, ugh haha) when you talk about having two young children. What about celebrating when you feel good?</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm not saying it's "easy" or that it's not a lot of work.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I have my days where I feel less energized, or get frustrated with baby business.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am essentially multi-tasking all day long to make sure everyone has bottles, baths, diapers changed, clean clothes on, cuddles, naps, meals, play time...it's a lot of work and the days turn to nights very quickly.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>But that's exactly why I try to keep myself centered, even when I am having a frustrating moment because my toddler now knows how to scream at a very high pitch (and does so, often).</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>These moments, these days, weeks and months are flying by.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>This time is not forever, and they won't always need me so intensely (or, they will, but in different ways).</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">No matter how stressful a moment is, I always center myself by remembering how fleeting and precious these moments are. The last year just FLEW by, and already my first baby is not a baby-baby anymore, and I know that with Jake, the moments are passing by even quicker.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I just want to savour the baby years, so that I can look back one day and remember that I enjoyed them.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Other things I'm enjoying right now include:</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Working out, eating well and taking care of my body. Feeling really good about losing 35 pounds since Jake was born, but still focusing on toning up and just enjoying being active!</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Our new apartment is amazing</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*We're going to Scotland for our friends' wedding next month (with only the mini-mini, mini is staying with grand-parents), and then to Italy in August (with both minis and my mom!)</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*I'm still doing some freelance writing from home, although, I admittedly have less free time for this at the moment!</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Theo started walking (not sure if this should be on the enjoying or "fearing" list hahah)</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Lots of fun and silly times with hubby</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">*Tomorrow is my 300th day of not drinking! Still feeling fantastic about that life choice. No FOMO whatsoever, as things only got better and better in my life once the bottle was capped for good.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">And not enjoying? Some of the hormonal "adjustments" which are more intense after two babies. Balancing back out takes extra meditation, grounding exercises, bubble baths, rune readings, sage burnings hahaha (just since week 7 postpartum, incidentally).</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Otherwise, life is great, I am so blessed and impressed with our boys.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">They are the cutest, silliest, sweetest and wildest (Theo) mini men and I cannot wait for the future adventures we will have together.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Here is photographic evidence that they are the most beautiful humans I have ever seen:</span></b><br />
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Brothas from the same motha. (And father, too, incidentally)</div>
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Hi! It's me. 7 weeks postpartum and finding my pre-pregasaurus groove again</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">More regular updates coming soon, promise!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I've been a lazy ass MOFO with writing but I know I need to prioritize it cause I love it.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">K bye!</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">xox</span></b></div>
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<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span>Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-18662997565135826722018-04-18T03:22:00.001-07:002018-04-18T04:47:05.746-07:00Jake's Birth: Our Romantic Last Push<b><span style="font-size: large;">Baboo #2 arrived into the world on Friday the 13th of April, just two days past due.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Born 11 months and 22 days after his big brother, little Jake's birth signified the end of our pregnancy/baby-building phase and transition into parenting two babes under 1 (for another week!).</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Here's the unedited version of events!</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Wednesday, April 11 was my official due date, and with no signs of impending labour, I trudged up to my midwife visit at the hospital. The last four weeks leading up to DD were quite physically challenging, so I was eager to get the show on the road and evacuate the little man. A teething/learning-to-walk 11 month-old at home left me with little down time, and we moved apartments in my 39th week.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">These factors, paired with pretty intense labour flashbacks from #1 had me feeling a bit out of sorts and anxious. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">It was time to gather my inner warrior strength and get through the final task at hand.</span></b><br />
<b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">A healthy scan and membrane sweep later, I was heading home feeling much better about things. I knew baby Jake wouldn't make me wait forever.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Fast-forward about 48h, and it's Friday morning, the 13th of April. Hubs has just left for work, and I decide to take a nap with Theo at about 10AM. We lie down in bed, and Theo drifts off, while I dilly dally on my phone a bit before closing my eyes. Not 5 minutes after falling asleep, my water breaks and wakes me up. This didn't happen with my first pregnancy, so it's exciting but also kind of foreign. The water just gushes out onto our bed (sorry hubby, I was on his side too!).</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I grab my phone and dial him.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>"Babe, you have to come home, my water just broke."</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I hang up, pick a sleeping Theo up and put him in his baby park, where he'll be safe in case I get hit with a contraction. I go into the bathroom and take off my soaking wet leggings and tunic, and change into fresh clothes. Hubs gets home not 12 minutes later, out of breath and concerned.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>At this point I'm not even having contractions, so I'm pretty relaxed.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I've called the hospital to advise them of the situation, and they tell me to come in within 3 hours. I decide to go right away, since I know things can move quickly once the contractions start, and I don't want to have my baby in a Swiss taxi.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Hubs calls me a cab, and we kiss and part ways with the understanding that he'll drop Theo off at my mother-in-law's and then meet me at the hospital.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Cab ride is smooth sailing and I'm at the hospital within 8 minutes. I walk towards the delivery rooms with my two hospital bags, taking my time to avoid any dramatics.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b> I arrive at 11AM and am greeted by a lovely older midwife- the one I had spoken to on the phone- who escorts me to a large birthing room and leaves me for a few moments to get some supplies. When she comes back she gets me hooked onto the fetal and contraction monitor to check out the baby.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am 2cm dilated but she doesn't seem to think that the baby will come thaaaat soon. I agree, because I am only having one mild contraction every 8-10 minutes.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I lie back and text some friends and family, updating them on things.</b></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just admitted - feeling pretty relaxed!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Hubs arrives to the hospital some 45 minutes later and we go for a little walk to the hospital cafeteria.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I eat a pretty disgusting vegetable soup and breaded Boursin bites that are equally unsatisfactory. Hospital food is not top, but I'm hungry and know that I'll need the energy.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>We go back to the maternity ward and sit outside on their terrace. We look at the Alps while a super sweet breeze floats over us. It's really a perfect day, and I have a cheesy "inspirational quote" thought about how strong mountains are. I joke about how mountains would not be afraid of contractions. They are strong enough to withstand any pain.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Somehow, facing a second natural delivery is feeling overwhelming to me, and I am even more fearful of the idea of a long labour. I'm glad that my humour is still intact, but I'm actually doubting my abilities.</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">We talk about different pain management options and he reassures me that whatever I choose is totally acceptable. There are no rules and no one to answer to here. I love him.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">We giggle and enjoy how the benefit of things progressing a bit slower means that we have time to talk to each other. </span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">We go back into the birthing room, where I decide to get into the tub to relax a bit. It's 2:30PM. I'm telling husband that we've already been here for close to 4 hours and I'm expecting it to go on for quite a few more hours. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Contractions are about 5 minutes apart. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">We eat peanut M&M's and Twix bars while I float around in the water. </span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">THEN. Out of nowhere, everything starts to accelerate- and fast. All of a sudden I am being struck with strong contractions that are hitting every 2-3 minutes. Shit is getting real. I want medication.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Thomas goes to get the midwife, who comes in and gives me a shot of Tramadol (opioid pain reliever, which doesn't actually have a huge effect during labour!). Even though the pain barely diminishes, I calm down a little bit and try to breathe.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Need to get out of the tub. Too hot, too unstable.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Suddenly, things are exactly as they were when Theo was born. </span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I am wanting to go to the bathroom, and also lie down.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Hubs helps me out of the tub. It takes a few minutes because the contractions keep coming and I have to get back on my knees to ride them out.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I have to act fast when I have some downtime.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">A pause. I grab onto him and let him lead me out of the tub and into the bathroom. I go to the bathroom quickly and practically run back to the birthing bed before I am struck down again. Naked preggo lady on the run, clear the room!!!</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I get on my left side and tell my husband that I don't think I can handle the pain. I want an epidural.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I want anything to get out of the discomfort, to escape it.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The midwife checks my cervix and tells me that I'm 8cm dilated and can essentially start pushing if I feel the urge.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I look at Thomas. It's too late for drugs. All I have is him. All of a sudden, I realize that he's all I need. I feel more love for him than I ever have in this moment. </span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">So, in similar fashion to how I birthed Theo, I push as hard as I can.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">While I am pushing, hubs is telling me over and over again that it's almost over. The baby will be here soon and I'll never have to do this again. I'm so strong. He loves me.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">All of this is keeping me going. All of a sudden I'm not the scared girl who needs an epidural, I am the warrior woman who can push babies out in less time than it takes to cook pasta and not require stitches afterwards.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I scream, I groan,I make all the noises that I need to in order to release the emotions, pain and obviously, the baby.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I focus on his hand holding mine (gripping might be a better word?), his words, the baby that I can feel coming into the world as the midwife tells me to breathe and slow down (LOL).</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">6 minutes.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">He's born at 3:51PM. We are both rejoicing about his arrival and also the fact that the baby birthing bits of life are behind us.</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iULf-gesFSU/WtcWcn4vV0I/AAAAAAAABAo/a25PSSr3P2UwOVWGlOP-eYSx7SDjM36xQCLcBGAs/s1600/20180413_173922.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iULf-gesFSU/WtcWcn4vV0I/AAAAAAAABAo/a25PSSr3P2UwOVWGlOP-eYSx7SDjM36xQCLcBGAs/s640/20180413_173922.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baby Jake we love you!!! Happy parents about an hour after the birth.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">We did it, again. Together.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">The next hour we are cuddling our little baby, cuddling each other, and just feeling so in love and blissed out. In the woozy after moments of labour, I can see how beautiful the past 5 hours really were, and how much I've gained from the experience.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">My midwife gives me a big hug, and tells me I was a pleasure. She is so genuine and kind, and I am so grateful that she was there every step of the way, in a non-invasive way. (Shout out to midwives, yet again, I can't ever express how much respect I have for this profession).</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PbOasRs16WM/WtcW2HOO1eI/AAAAAAAABAs/uApMhtqR39gi5ZIg3ALVO290po6PuKgZgCLcBGAs/s1600/20180413_173434.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PbOasRs16WM/WtcW2HOO1eI/AAAAAAAABAs/uApMhtqR39gi5ZIg3ALVO290po6PuKgZgCLcBGAs/s640/20180413_173434.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Daddy has another boy to cuddle and watch football with <3</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So that's it!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Baby Jake is now 5 days old, I am recovering super quickly and we are feeling complete and happy as a family of 4 (5 with Milo the dog!).</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>We feel so blessed to have our two little babes who are in different phases of baby-hood, but still both so precious and small. Every moment is magic.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm so amazed that in one year TWO little humans were born and entered our family. I'm also overjoyed that I don't have to go through another pregnancy, and that we can now enter the phase of raising our babies and enjoying all of their milestones.</b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><b></b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J90RiED3Wh8/WtcXEzb370I/AAAAAAAABA0/BUKRYTVOU6k8ABQ82uDVNZmgcHzWhUoxgCLcBGAs/s1600/20180416_105117.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J90RiED3Wh8/WtcXEzb370I/AAAAAAAABA0/BUKRYTVOU6k8ABQ82uDVNZmgcHzWhUoxgCLcBGAs/s640/20180416_105117.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mini and mini-mini. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Heart is totally full, family is complete, and life is more beautiful that I could have ever imagined. <3</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069273989632306370.post-77216324122512357792018-02-19T01:38:00.003-08:002018-02-19T01:38:42.383-08:00How I Survived A Vacation At 32 Weeks Pregnant (With A Baby In Tow!)<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Being pregnant while raising a baby doesn't give me much time to sit still and relax.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>To be honest, for the first 30 weeks of the pregnancy, I was pretty much going at my regular pace, with very few pregnancy symptoms (thank you, Universe!).</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Only lately, with the final stretch in full fledge, am I feeling the weight (literally) of the tasks of mothering, wife'ing and life'ing.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>We went on a family vacation to England last week, and it was wonderful.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Yes, there were absolutely some moments of challenge (baby and I both started the week with colds, babe is teething and moving like crazy, there were some exhausting nights etc;) BUT I feel so proud of how well the travel went, and how much I was able to enjoy myself.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>We had a lot of family obligations (we were visiting family, after all! Step-brother's wedding was the main event) and I was able to squeeze in two lovely friend dates with my friends from Canada and my bestie from England. Amazing.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Now, we're home.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm so ready to embrace the quiet and calm that daily life provides.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>We are going to be moving at the end of the month, so I am slowly preparing boxes, organizing junk and donating things we no longer need.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Also super, super excited to think that in roughly 7 weeks I will meet my second baby boy (whose name is still not finalized, but that's on our list of "to-do" this week!)</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Spring will also bring two lovely family visits, as my dad and step-mum are coming for Theo's first birthday (and to meet the newest addition) AND then my sister is coming to visit!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Life is going to be busy and action-packed with two little guys, but I am so enjoying the "baby years" and I feel so prepared.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm at 192 days sober, and it almost doesn't feel like a thing anymore.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Being around drinking/booze is totally normal to me now (without feeling any FOMO or disgust at drunkenness). I'm just so comfortable with my choice and realize that it doesn't matter at all what others do.</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Sobriety has given me all the things I struggled so hard to get while drinking (an anxiety-free life, confidence, true happiness, calmness, joy, constant state of gratitude and awe...). Who knew all this time that putting the bottle down was the answer?!</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Here are a few photos from sunny England!</b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IzGA1ujZhi4/WoqZ2C_NQ6I/AAAAAAAAA_k/2eb9nyUdRmsULeopA9MKkKiirGO-UDb-gCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_9301.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="480" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IzGA1ujZhi4/WoqZ2C_NQ6I/AAAAAAAAA_k/2eb9nyUdRmsULeopA9MKkKiirGO-UDb-gCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_IMG_9301.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Took the day off from mom'ing to visit two of my favorite pals from Canada in London! This was a really nice reunion <3</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8Hk7SFaW4Wk/WoqZ2FJLezI/AAAAAAAAA_o/TOh1DJXXFLAfWkTovpksHbdcYgg3qGHcwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_9329.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="480" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8Hk7SFaW4Wk/WoqZ2FJLezI/AAAAAAAAA_o/TOh1DJXXFLAfWkTovpksHbdcYgg3qGHcwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_IMG_9329.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A teething related freak-out moment during a pub lunch in Tunbridge Wells. Daddy's face says it all! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--6PsvbaTyO4/WoqZ2BAZ8bI/AAAAAAAAA_g/9MxOBFIlvQ4bEr-cDL-IrW3-1swqNqDFQCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_9346.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--6PsvbaTyO4/WoqZ2BAZ8bI/AAAAAAAAA_g/9MxOBFIlvQ4bEr-cDL-IrW3-1swqNqDFQCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_IMG_9346.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">During my step-bro's wedding reception. A little family time. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--buS8N7s-RE/WoqZ2803QnI/AAAAAAAAA_s/-llXWSUZ0ds6IPB2cMVfS8hCc86fnPX6ACLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_9359.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--buS8N7s-RE/WoqZ2803QnI/AAAAAAAAA_s/-llXWSUZ0ds6IPB2cMVfS8hCc86fnPX6ACLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_IMG_9359.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feeling fancy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TuHmAT-taNw/WoqZ25aszgI/AAAAAAAAA_w/Um1AMxLwlNY7rH-UZt_Si68nO1U96WJKwCLcBGAs/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_9405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="481" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TuHmAT-taNw/WoqZ25aszgI/AAAAAAAAA_w/Um1AMxLwlNY7rH-UZt_Si68nO1U96WJKwCLcBGAs/s640/thumbnail_IMG_9405.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We brought Theo to Hastings on our last day of vacay to see the sea! He loved our family day, which included eating fish pie, walking around the shore and shopping</td></tr>
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<br />Ariane Signerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415183404082968277noreply@blogger.com1