The Shadow and the Shimmer

Even though colder weather has never really bothered me, I am starting to itch for the summer again! I'm not sure I'll be able to top how amazing 2018 was, but we're definitely going to try! Uploading some memories from a dreamy, warm and sunny summer. Beautiful bride and groom. Vikki and Laurence tie the knot in Perth, Scotland. July, 2018 A weekend away with Baby Jake! Enjoying a summer lie down in the grass The first bestie to arrive in Swizzy. Ashley and I in the Old Town The gang <3 Being tourist-y in town Lake Day with Stef My Canadian ladies. Friends for 20+ years  I think this was the best day of my life. Scream-laughing in the lake for hours with the silliest girls And tanning Lago Lodge Jakey having a snack with Steffy Bus stop selfies Spiez Taking time to smell the roses Soul sista Ferry ride to Thun I miss my breast-feeding boobies. They're gone Sunset...

The fog is lifting...metaphorically, and literally! I didn't take this photo, but it was taken in my town, and that's my fog!!! It's been a really drab fall in my part of Switzerland, and though I am used to the Canadian cold, we have a hell of a lot more sunshine!!! Vitamin D extra strength tablets and a better diet, more rest and some soul nourishment are doing the trick, though. Here are some super great things that are going on now: Doing a lot more social stuff lately.   I've been pretty good at keeping up with baby/momma activities and play dates over the last few months, but now I am craving some one-on-one adult time! I've been working on doing at least 1-2 social events a week (that do not include kiddos) to "treat myself". Usually this means a quick coffee/tea or a walk, but more recently I have been doing 1/2 day outings and trying to see more of Switzerland! I know, how adventurous of me to spend an entire half day away from m...

Looking at beautiful pictures is good for the soul. <3 My city <3 Starting to consider moving back and establishing ourselves there in a few years...TBD These colours are pure perfection. Makes me want to wear orange and pink. That bench, tho. Whenever I think it's cold in Switzerland, I just remember walking in Montreal, on ice, in arctic temperatures. Ah, memories. I like this a lot. I am finding myself very thankful these days. It changes everything. An obsession that started long ago. Trees!!!  Hell yes. And the sunshine is always back. 2019 goals that I am starting right now. All praise the Queen, Oprah.  You will.

The past couple of months have been kind of challenging.  A mix of homesickness, foggy weather, 16-hour a day parenting shifts and postpartum hormonal readjustment...that's quite a lot for anyone to have to deal with at the same time, right? I have always been proud of myself for persevering, for getting myself back into the sunshine after tough times, and I'm definitely on my way. This period of moody blues has given me some much needed time to reflect on certain things, though, and for that, I  am grateful. Without the shadows, how could we possibly know the light? Without life pushing you into discomfort temporarily, how would we know grace and acceptance? (Of self and others) Without the dark times, there just wouldn't be room for growth, for change, for transformation. Of course, when you're in the thick of it, it doesn't seem so promising. It's hard to tap into the wisdom of the Universe when you feel kind of low, but that's ex...

I have writing withdrawal and I feel it in my BONES! Lately, I haven't been writing much. Something about having two babies under 18 months old seems to keep me fairly occupied, with not so  much free time for personal projects. Buuuut….I need to do it. I've been working on my book, for what seems like a million years. It's "in progress" (like me!) but this week, I finally allowed myself to lower my expectations about when it will be published. For some reason, I have been feeling like I just NEED to publish by the end of this year. As if I need to validate what I've been up to professionally in the last couple of years. Why?? I need to really let go of the self-imposed deadlines and pressure. Writing a book is important, but right now, my mom work is more important. My babies are young and need my full attention, and I want to give it to them 100%. I just feel like I'm forcing too hard if I push to publish for a specific date, when I really want t...

Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Today marks my one year sober-versary.  I am beyond proud. Haven't been this stone-cold sober since I was 12.  For the last several years, I flirted with the notion of long-term sobriety, but I was always afraid to commit. When I jumped fully onto the wagon (with no padding), I didn't realize that I would literally undergo a complete transformation. I an now much more in touch with source energy, my emotional guidance system, and my TRUE self. I am in control of my life, and I make good choices that affect my family positively. I no longer have to worry about self-made drama, exaggerated anxiety and feeling sick from too much booze. A year ago, my voice shook when I told people I quit drinking. Today, I am happy to talk about my experiences, out loud, and non-anonymously.  When I share my story and help others, I am really fulfilling my soul calling. There are millions more things I can add to this, but instead...

Life is busy. Sometimes hard. And we can sometimes fall into periods where we get down on ourselves for not doing enough, not being enough, not having enough etc; Whether it's money, time, chores or physical appearance, we can be really, really self-critical. Our inner judge (the ego) can make us feel like we're just not doing a good enough job...of anything. Add in a society that tells us that we have to look a certain way, be perfect parents, work hard and succeed in the labour force, and you have a perfect storm. You meet friends to catch up, and spend most of the time complaining about what isn't going right. You gossip about others. You feed the bad feelings/emotions and thoughts with more negativity, and eventually you have a pretty unhappy reality going on. So- what if I told you that you can break the cycle?! Changing our thoughts isn't an easy task, but it can be done, one small step at a time. Becoming more mindful can literally change your life....

Well, it was actually two under one for 9 days! Having two babies within 12 months has been totally insane and ALL worth it. Sitting here, while both babies nap and I have my first "quiet hour" of the day, I still can't believe that we did this haha Two years ago, around this time, I was planning our wedding, getting things in order for my move to Switzerland and babies weren't even on my mind. I had too much to think about with immigration paperwork and getting rid of my apartment and furniture. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: life delivers. So how is life with two demanding little babs who are both going through completely different phases? It's great. Honestly, I feel like people almost expect to hear you complain about "how hard it is" or how tired you are, or how you need a break (or a glass of wine, ugh haha) when you talk about having two young children.  What about celebrating when you feel good? I'm not sayin...

Baboo #2 arrived into the world on Friday the 13th of April, just two days past due. Born 11 months and 22 days after his big brother, little Jake's birth signified the end of our pregnancy/baby-building phase and transition into parenting two babes under 1 (for another week!). Here's the unedited version of events! Wednesday, April 11 was my official due date, and with no signs of impending labour, I trudged up to my midwife visit at the hospital. The last four weeks leading up to DD were quite physically challenging, so I was eager to get the show on the road and evacuate the little man. A teething/learning-to-walk 11 month-old at home left me with little down time, and we moved apartments in my 39th week. These factors, paired with pretty intense labour flashbacks from #1 had me feeling a bit out of sorts and anxious.  It was time to gather my inner warrior strength and get through the final task at hand. A healthy scan and membrane sweep later, I was heading home...