I am so looking forward to meeting my second little son-shine, but it's also bittersweet to know that these final weeks will be my last experiences as a preggo lady.
We've always been super comfortable with the decision to have 2 babies and dat's it. We are both from families of 2 kiddos, and we quite like the idea of focusing all of our resources and energy/time on 2.
It's the right number for us!
It's crazy to think that 2 years ago, Thomas and I were living in Montreal, not married yet, struggling with immigration paperwork and feeling heavy-hearted because the process was so long and arduous. We never gave up on "us" and look at what we have created!
It makes me so happy to look back and see how the Universe really did set us on the right path amidst some majorly stressful and confusing times.
And now, life is so cool.
Sometimes I am surprised at just how significantly my life balanced out (particularly when I gave up booze).
I am reading Catherine Gray's amaaaazing memoir The Unexpected Joy Of Being Sober, and it's so incredibly relatable. What a great, inspiring read.
|Incredibly inspirational quit-lit right here|
The book has helped me to really face my own lingering fears that surround my new, sober life.
Sometimes, I've doubted myself or my decision to be 100% booze-free, but it doesn't take long to remind myself why I made this choice, why I am sticking to it and how much better it is making my life.
Here are just a few things that I enjoy in my day to day that would not have been possible if I continued to drink on the reg:
→Life doesn't overwhelm me anymore. I used to get anxious/frazzled/scared/emotional quite easily, and a lot of that had to do with the fact that I was flooding my system with way too much alcohol. Nowadays, my natural state is calm, silly, soothed and happy!
→I am learning a new language. German! If I was still prioritizing booze, I wouldn't have had the focus/energy/memory or attention span to focus on this.
→I can parent efficiently and with endless love. I'm never impatient with my son. I don't get snappy cause I'm never hungover. I don't rush to get him to bed so I can have a glass of wine. I enjoy the ups and downs and twists and turns that our days provide. I am mom'ing full time, from the time he wakes up (these days 7:30-8:00AM) to bedtime (8:30-9:00PM) - so that is enough work. Adding alcohol to my day would only rob me of energy, and make me far less efficient.
→I'm a way better wife. When I was drinking a lot, it was way more common for us to have disagreements, lovers spats or just downright dirty fights. Being constantly hungover, tired, irritable and sick makes you snappy! These past months have been so blissful in the romance department. Not drinking allows me to be fully present for hubs, which means that I am able to engage fully and give him the best love. We have always had a really solid relationship, but now it's even better, because it's way more silly and carefree. I have to force myself to go to bed at a certain time, cause otherwise we would just stay up all night chatting and giggling. It's lovely.
→I'm setting new goals. Now that I am not spending my life hiding away in hangover-land, I am realizing that there are so many things I want to try. Pregnancy has limited me slightly, but I am dreaming about a summer filled with outdoor activity, family trips and adventures. My dreams are getting bigger and further-reaching, and I'm so excited about being able to give my kiddos a fun, exciting and healthy, happy life. I want to play and run and swim and visit cool places. Try new foods, push through fears, get out of my comfort zone.
→I'm helping others. For so long, I didn't talk openly about my struggles with booze, because I was ashamed of my inability to control my intake. I felt like I was damaged or faulty for not having the ability to stop once I got started. Now, I realize that I'm definitely not alone in the struggle. So many women have had (and continue to have) unhealthy drinking habits, and I know that sharing my story will help others. I want people to know that life only gets bigger, better and far more fulfilling once the wine glass is filled with sparkling water.
→I'm realizing that sobriety is really cool and underrated. One of the biggest fears and misconceptions surrounding sobriety is that it's...boring. I admit, this was one of my biggest worries when I decided to quit. Will I still be fun? Will people want to hang out with me? What will I do if I'm not chugging 6 pints of cider? The funny thing is, when I was drinking, I saw myself as
this cool/outgoing party girl. I thought that drinking made me fun and mysterious.
Nowadays, when I see drunk girls that remind me of those times, I have a completely different vision. Now, I see them, with their slurry speech and squinty eyes, for what they really are. Lost. Not in control. Searching for something, that they definitely won't find at the bottom of a bottle. It's really eye-opening to have such a shift in perception; drunk doesn't make us cool or pretty or desirable. It makes us sloppy and very often, quite ridiculous.
Sober is sexy as hell. Being able to walk into a party/bar/room/event and present your authentic, unaltered self? That is what builds true confidence and self-love. And, in our generation, it's the most rebellious thing you can do, right?
OK this ended up being longer than originally anticipated (as always!). Time to go for a little walk, the bakery is calling my name and we are visiting an apartment later and I'm really excited cause it has a terrace and garden! Yeah for summer BBQ's and sun-tanning and happy babies on blankets <3