The Shadow and the Shimmer

Today I wanna talk about the F WORD. FEAR, motherfuckers. Since I was 19, I have struggled with panic disorder and generalized anxiety. Last night, when I was falling asleep, I had a bit of an epiphany while I was doing my reframing exercises. For the past several weeks, I have been doing these nightly exercises, which aim to heal the relationship we have with past traumas. I learnt about this super helpful tool via Dennis Simsek, aka, THE ANXIETY GUY, aka, my current obsession and spirit animal guide! He's freaking amazing. Watch his video on how to reframe, below:  So as I was falling asleep, and making some contact with past versions of myself, I became cognizant of the fact that I used to be a fearless, angsty teenager. ME! Fearless?! It seems like such a foreign concept, but alas, I used to be scared of nada.   I was the girl who would never say no to a dare, who lived for thrills, and who didn't even consider fear when making decisions.  Of course, s

 ***EDIT: I wrote this before Christmas, 2019, and didn't feel right publishing it then...today I'm cool with this*** My parents divorced when I was...18? I have had many, many years to come to terms with the demise of our OG family, the pain and sadness of my parents not being together anymore, and the aftershocks and consequences that this massive life change had on me. As a super sensitive child, the divorce was as traumatic to me as if someone I loved had died. And for many years I felt guilty that I felt so badly, like I was damaged and should just be 'getting on with it'.  Everyone's from a divorced family these days, right? The other day, I was looking through old family photos, and I had an epiphany. In an effort to heal from the divorce pains, I had completely blocked out the good memories I had from my childhood. Literally locked them up and never revisited them. It was too hard, and also, super confusing. How could I hold a sacred place f