The Shadow and the Shimmer

Hallo! So, if you read my blog, or know me personally, you probably know that I have a history of being a pretty big boozer. I started drinking at the tender age of 13, and basically evolved into a binge drinker in a very short span of time. I spent about 17 years drinking regularly-albeit, some years were less boozy that others- but you get the point. Not only did I drink a lot, I thought about drinking a lot. I still think about drinking a lot. I don't think about it in an "oh my God I need a drink" kind of way. I think about it in an "oh my God, was this the reason for 99% of my problems my entire teenage and adult life?? Can I, maybe, like, not do it anymore and save myself a lot of hassle??" The truth is, in a nutshell, yes. Yes, booze was the problem. Drinking was my escape from the most minute problem, to the biggest. Booze allowed me to escape, pretend, sugarcoat, deny and generally just fog up my reality. If I didn't like a certain feeling or...

This is my first pregnancy, and so far, I am loving it. I had really bad morning sickness at the beginning, but other than that, its been pretty smooth sailing the last 23 weeks and 4 days! Most of the good feels have nothing to do with my physical state, actually. What I want to talk about today is how miraculously my life shifted- in every area - from the moment that I saw those two pink lines. So let's kick it off with a preggo selfie to set the stage, then we'll jump right in!  Hi! DISCLAIMER: I'm going pretty deep today. I want to share with you the most significant part of my pregnancy journey (so far!) I've been a personal development/self-help junkie for just about 10 years now. I've put in A  LOT of hours doing psychological/physiological/emotional and spiritual research. Mostly, because it feels good to me. I love challenging myself to grow out of old ideas, expand ways of thinking and get out of the box of habitual patterns. So, no on...

So, I've been in Switzerland for just over 2 months. I'm pregnant, too, by the way! 15 weeks!  We'll save that for next post, because what I REALLY want to do is make a listicle of some of the oddities/cool stuff and weird stuff I've noticed since arriving here. If I was in a sour mood, this could have become a Debbie Downer style list of all the things I am having a hard time adjusting to, but I am having a pretty darn good day, so let's look at the bright side, too, shall we?! So, without further ado, let's look at the good, the bad and the fugly of this odd little place. 1. Bananas are super affordable (PRO) This is a weird observation, I know. In Canada, a large banana can cost you as much as $0.75! No joke, today, at the grocery store, I saw a bag of 15 BANANAS for less than 2 francs (that's about $2.45 Canadian). They are super cheap, and I am happy about this. 2. People generally seem miserable; neutral at best (CON) I don't want t...

For as long as I can remember, I have been writing. When I was young, I kept a journal. This was my safe place to escape from the world and get deep into the art of self-analysis. I wrote about everything. At the beginning it was trivialities; which boy was cutest, what I wore to school. In my teenage years, I wrote about family fights, nights out drinking in the park and other general hooliganisms. Or many worlds? The bottom line for me, is that writing is my main source of therapy. Every major obstacle I have overcome in my life has been written about from every imaginable angle. In a way, it's like a puzzle. I write out different feelings, different perspectives, until something fits and I see the big picture. Perspectives and feelings change, too, which is part of the beauty of writing. It is fluid. I can go back and reread my past work (sometimes, with a horrified smirk) and see how my evolution has spiralled into a new direction. The thought...

Hello! It feels so good to type. I missed it. The past month has been a whirlwind of travelling, marriage preparations and execution, parties and visits with friends and families. It feels like the first time in a loooooong time that I have been able to sit (on my new comfortable Swiss couch, no less) and relax and let myself get back into the story-telling. So, in a nutshell, everything went better than I could have possibly imagined. Here's the listicle of what's been going on, in chronological order: 1. Thomas arrived in Montreal on July 23 The reunion was wonderful- as expected. We hadn't seen each other since he went back to Switzerland at the end of March. We only had a few days in Montreal before we departed for Barbados . Reunited for good....with more hair than ever before My beautiful engagement/wedding/love ring! So perfect. 2. I had my last day of work on July 28th This was a huge moment for me. I had spent far too many years sh...

What a crazy last few months it's been!!! I kept meaning to update my blog: I really can't even believe that I haven't written anything since APRIL! I'm in such writing withdrawal. I couldn't remember my password or the font I usually use. Time to get back into this. The  good news: I am officially finished work in 10 business days. I will then embark on a super fun wedding/honeymoon vacation with my darling and THEN move to Switzerland! Blog-worthy! So this past weekend, my friends threw me a beautiful bridal shower. Here are some of the fun highlights: My hairdresser made my hair look very bridal and fancy My friends' made a signature rum punch in my favorite colour I enjoyed drinking my mermaid juice throughout the evening My bridal party! I have a best man, a maid of honour and bridesmaids...spoiled! My talented friend Lando did this portrait of us!!! Adorable A+T Bracelet with an aquamarine stone Today, an ...

I'm moving to Switzerland in July. This long-distance love will finally have a stable home. The last two years were filled with a lot of travelling and a lot of lonely time. Every single personal sacrifice was worth it. "There is a solution to every problem" has been the relationship mantra. I'm really proud of what we've accomplished; the relationship stability we've managed to create, despite being 6000km and an ocean apart. We are both willing to go that extra mile, literally, to be together. Now, I'm going to outline a very, very adventurous detour that I've concocted for my upcoming move. I seriously think that this could be the inspiration for my first full-length-autobiography (yes, I plan on writing a collection of memoirs...) The steps are... 1 . Take bus from Montreal to NYC 2.Take Queen Mary 2 transatlantic crossing to either Southampton or Hamburg 3.Depending on port of entry, either visit family in England, then cross Engli...