There Is A Way Through Every Block

I'm pretty sure that one of my earliest blog posts was titled this.

There is something so reassuring, so calming and so poignant about this Yogi Bhajan quote. 

Let's face it, life isn't always a bouquet of daffodils and roses. I am really happy that I've found a balance in my day-to-day life that keeps me in the "high on life" range for at least a good 80%-90% of my time, but that doesn't mean that I don't suffer from some human-level bullshit from time to time!!!

The truth is, without the darkness, we can't appreciate the light, right?

I used to live most of my time with my shadow, and only a small amount of time with my shimmer. Over time, with vigorous self-love practices in place, I was able to get rid of a lot of the dark layers; clean out the cobwebs and the dirt, and learn to love living in the shiny spots.

But, I still have moments that test me.

Just recently, I found myself caught up in a moment that tested my patience, my practice and my values.
For just a sliver of a moment, I went dark and engaged in immature back-and-forth banter with someone who shares different views from me.

Why did this person get under my skin so much?

Why was I allowing her ignorance to dim my shine?

In the moment, while she was using anything to hurt me (attacking my sobriety, mainly) I caved and became a little girl again, defending myself and spewing out nasty insults.

After a night of reflection, I realized, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is a test.

There will always, always be people in the world with whom we don't see eye to eye.
There will be haters, naysayers, skeptics.
There will be those that don't see your value and worth.
Those that don't appreciate your story or your struggle.
Those that are unhappy and want everyone else to be, as well.

But those are not my people.

Not anymore.

You know that famous quote by Michelle Obama, "when they go low, we go high"?

That's who I am.

I don't need to prove myself to someone (anyone) who doesn't understand me/know me/care about me.

I don't need to stoop to levels of baby la-la ness to prove my points.

I don't need to tell a million people how you are not that nice/not genuine or not authentic.
That is not my story to tell.
And honestly, my point of reference is shaped by my own journey, so who am I to judge yours?

The bottom line is, my true heroines are the ones who were brave in the face of adversity.

Oprah. Maya Angelou. Brene Brown. Gabrielle Bernstein. Glennon Doyle Melton. Laura McKeown. Elizabeth Gilbert.

These ladies that I adore, respect and look up to faced challenging times and did not stray from their truth.
They held their ground.
They knew who they were.
They apologized; not for the sake of the other, but for their own peace.
They persevered.
They found their tribe.
They were not silenced.
They didn't let the world dim their shine.

They constantly "checked" themselves, forgave themselves for their mistakes and committed to seeing love over fear, no matter what the costs.

For a nanosecond I lost touch with my inner greatness and my ability to stand on my own two feet, unassisted.

But that's not something I am surrendering, now or ever.