The Shadow and the Shimmer

This is my first pregnancy, and so far, I am loving it. I had really bad morning sickness at the beginning, but other than that, its been pretty smooth sailing the last 23 weeks and 4 days! Most of the good feels have nothing to do with my physical state, actually. What I want to talk about today is how miraculously my life shifted- in every area - from the moment that I saw those two pink lines. So let's kick it off with a preggo selfie to set the stage, then we'll jump right in!  Hi! DISCLAIMER: I'm going pretty deep today. I want to share with you the most significant part of my pregnancy journey (so far!) I've been a personal development/self-help junkie for just about 10 years now. I've put in A  LOT of hours doing psychological/physiological/emotional and spiritual research. Mostly, because it feels good to me. I love challenging myself to grow out of old ideas, expand ways of thinking and get out of the box of habitual patterns. So, no on...

So, I've been in Switzerland for just over 2 months. I'm pregnant, too, by the way! 15 weeks!  We'll save that for next post, because what I REALLY want to do is make a listicle of some of the oddities/cool stuff and weird stuff I've noticed since arriving here. If I was in a sour mood, this could have become a Debbie Downer style list of all the things I am having a hard time adjusting to, but I am having a pretty darn good day, so let's look at the bright side, too, shall we?! So, without further ado, let's look at the good, the bad and the fugly of this odd little place. 1. Bananas are super affordable (PRO) This is a weird observation, I know. In Canada, a large banana can cost you as much as $0.75! No joke, today, at the grocery store, I saw a bag of 15 BANANAS for less than 2 francs (that's about $2.45 Canadian). They are super cheap, and I am happy about this. 2. People generally seem miserable; neutral at best (CON) I don't want t...

For as long as I can remember, I have been writing. When I was young, I kept a journal. This was my safe place to escape from the world and get deep into the art of self-analysis. I wrote about everything. At the beginning it was trivialities; which boy was cutest, what I wore to school. In my teenage years, I wrote about family fights, nights out drinking in the park and other general hooliganisms. Or many worlds? The bottom line for me, is that writing is my main source of therapy. Every major obstacle I have overcome in my life has been written about from every imaginable angle. In a way, it's like a puzzle. I write out different feelings, different perspectives, until something fits and I see the big picture. Perspectives and feelings change, too, which is part of the beauty of writing. It is fluid. I can go back and reread my past work (sometimes, with a horrified smirk) and see how my evolution has spiralled into a new direction. The thought...

Hello! It feels so good to type. I missed it. The past month has been a whirlwind of travelling, marriage preparations and execution, parties and visits with friends and families. It feels like the first time in a loooooong time that I have been able to sit (on my new comfortable Swiss couch, no less) and relax and let myself get back into the story-telling. So, in a nutshell, everything went better than I could have possibly imagined. Here's the listicle of what's been going on, in chronological order: 1. Thomas arrived in Montreal on July 23 The reunion was wonderful- as expected. We hadn't seen each other since he went back to Switzerland at the end of March. We only had a few days in Montreal before we departed for Barbados . Reunited for good....with more hair than ever before My beautiful engagement/wedding/love ring! So perfect. 2. I had my last day of work on July 28th This was a huge moment for me. I had spent far too many years sh...

What a crazy last few months it's been!!! I kept meaning to update my blog: I really can't even believe that I haven't written anything since APRIL! I'm in such writing withdrawal. I couldn't remember my password or the font I usually use. Time to get back into this. The  good news: I am officially finished work in 10 business days. I will then embark on a super fun wedding/honeymoon vacation with my darling and THEN move to Switzerland! Blog-worthy! So this past weekend, my friends threw me a beautiful bridal shower. Here are some of the fun highlights: My hairdresser made my hair look very bridal and fancy My friends' made a signature rum punch in my favorite colour I enjoyed drinking my mermaid juice throughout the evening My bridal party! I have a best man, a maid of honour and bridesmaids...spoiled! My talented friend Lando did this portrait of us!!! Adorable A+T Bracelet with an aquamarine stone Today, an ...

I'm moving to Switzerland in July. This long-distance love will finally have a stable home. The last two years were filled with a lot of travelling and a lot of lonely time. Every single personal sacrifice was worth it. "There is a solution to every problem" has been the relationship mantra. I'm really proud of what we've accomplished; the relationship stability we've managed to create, despite being 6000km and an ocean apart. We are both willing to go that extra mile, literally, to be together. Now, I'm going to outline a very, very adventurous detour that I've concocted for my upcoming move. I seriously think that this could be the inspiration for my first full-length-autobiography (yes, I plan on writing a collection of memoirs...) The steps are... 1 . Take bus from Montreal to NYC 2.Take Queen Mary 2 transatlantic crossing to either Southampton or Hamburg 3.Depending on port of entry, either visit family in England, then cross Engli...

Goooooooooooood Morning! It really is a good morning, for quite a few reasons. In true listicle fashion, let's review: 1. I quit my job !  My last day of work will be on Friday, July 8th...and then, I'm OFF TO EUROPE! We came to this conclusion in February after weeks of immigration frustration with the Quebec government. Given our situation, we will have more opportunities in Europe. We are looking at England or Switzerland as final destinations. Boyfriend has both passports, so it really depends on how my job search goes. Very exciting to think of starting a brand-new life. It feels sooooo good to let go of responsibility and the stress of having a demanding position. I can now really focus on transitioning into a new dream position- possibly something more artistic/creative. Doggie will be coming with, naturally. This is us 5 years ago!! We look so young!! 2. I've been consistently sticking with a soberista lifestyle for quite awhile...

Hello! Today is such a typical Case-of-the-Monday's- Monday. I'm not even that moody or down, I just feel like I should be. It's rainy and gray outside, I ate way too much chocolate yesterday and I'm hormonal. Recipe for some blues, right there! Yeeeeeep. So it's the first day back to work after a long weekend. This was the first weekend without my boyfriend, and despite everything, it went pretty well! I jumped right back into my "self-care" routines to keep myself uplifted and healthy/happy. Lots of long bubble baths, Netflix marathons, chores (I love cleaning, best therapy ever). I am not the only one who engaged in a little "rest and relaxation" this weekend Friday, I went to the gym for an embarrassing 20 minutes, and then saw the new Tina Fey movie with my pal Ash. Saturday, I went for a tattoo session and Sunday was my family's Easter brunch/lunch. The entire weekend was spent booze-free..yeah! This helps trem...

Uggghhhhh  my heart. I jut said goodbye to my beautiful boyfriend at the airport. After 9 wonderful weeks together, he had to go back to Switzerland to work. This is our 6th airport goodbye in 600 days (today is actually exactly 600 days since we met!!!) The truth is: it doesn't get easier to say goodbye. The first night apart is the hardest. I find myself in this weird, hazy fog of emotions and memories. Everything reminds me of him. I don't want to listen to music. Everything will make me sad, or fake-happy. I don't want to sit on the couch, because that's where we spent a good portion of the last 9 weeks, together. I especially don't want to go to bed, because I know that when I turn in the night, I won't be turning into a warm, comforting body. It just has to run it's course. I know that in a few days, the despair will seem a little less dark. I'll get back into my regular activities and routines. I'll start planning our next ...

So, tonight is a bittersweet night. It's bittersweet, simply because fondue night precedes "airport day". Over the last year and a half, my honey and I have endured the following heart-wrenching airport goodbyes (ranked on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the hardest) 1. ZURICH, CH, JAN 2015   7/10 This one was pretty tough. It was our first time seeing each other after our meeting in August. We adored this trip together; it really set the tone of the relationship...sweet, cheesy (literally) and passionate. When we said goodbye, I stuffed my face with beautiful, expensive, Swiss chocolates, looked at photos of our trip together, and cried. This was the delicious beginning of the "goodbye, don't cry, fondue ceremony" 2. MONTREAL, CAN, MARCH 2015 9/10 Ouch! I remember this one!!! This one sucked particularly because Thomas flew in for a mere 5 days to spend time with me. The gesture was so romantic, spontaneous and John Cusack-y. Saying goodby...

Hi Friends! It's Monday morning and I'm pretty slow-going after a busy (but very nice) weekend! Lately I've been giving a lot of thought to the Law of Attraction. Manifesting the things you most strongly desire, almost effortlessly. We've all see The Secret. The premise of LOA is quite simple. The Universe's magnetic powers draw like energies' together.  If we look at the Universe outside of the time-space-continuum,  human existence is part of the life force phenomena, which is all-encompassing. We are no different than a rock or a tree, in the grand scheme of things. The energy, or Source, that flows through our beings, is equally moving through all things. There is no separation. Everything is one. The Universe doesn't know the difference between "good" or "bad". Labelling thoughts, events, activities and behaviours as either positive or negative is part of the human condition; history has shown that our moral code cha...

Holy shit! A week has passed since I last wrote?! Whoa- not OK! Admittedly, I have been choosing to spend most of my down time cooking, watching movies and going out on dates with my boyfriend. We're always sweet and romantic with each other (he's definitely "my person")...BUT THIS WEEK IS EVEN MORE ROMANTIC! It's like I'm floating on a cloud of Kraft Dinner while holding a dozen baby pugs and being spoon-fed cheese-cubes. We've been in a near-constant flow of gratitude for each other, nurturing and adoring each other and planning our future. We're laughing constantly. Creating new, stupid pet names for each other on a daily basis. Sharing embarrassing memories. Talking about the 90's. Yesterday, he came home with white roses and I made him pizza that looked like this: So, this morning, a co-worker passed by my desk and asked me how my relationship was going. I gave her a slightly condensed version of the above. Her response was, r...

Wow, I haven't written in 5 days! It's been a bit of a busy week. Monday, I had an appointment with my dentist. I've been a pretty vigorous day-clencher and night-grinder for years. Last spring, my dentist suggested that I get fitted for a hard, acrylic occlusion guard. This $700 plastic monster was supposed to help to protect my teeth at night. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I  started to notice changes in my mouth and jaw.  One day, I was trying to bite my cuticles, and my teeth couldn't latch onto the skin, as they had faithfully done for over 20 years.   Gone are the days of ripping open a bag of chips with my teeth. They simply don't grip that way anymore. It's horrifying! As the weeks progressed, I was waking up with severe cheek and jaw pain; so I went back and dentist confirmed that my chompers had, in fact, moved around in my mouth. Comforting! 3 weeks ago, I had a new set of molds created. They pho...