Skip to main content

Despair in the Departure Lounge

Uggghhhhh  my heart.

I jut said goodbye to my beautiful boyfriend at the airport.
After 9 wonderful weeks together, he had to go back to Switzerland to work.
This is our 6th airport goodbye in 600 days (today is actually exactly 600 days since we met!!!)

The truth is: it doesn't get easier to say goodbye.

The first night apart is the hardest.
I find myself in this weird, hazy fog of emotions and memories.
Everything reminds me of him.

I don't want to listen to music. Everything will make me sad, or fake-happy.
I don't want to sit on the couch, because that's where we spent a good portion of the last 9 weeks, together.
I especially don't want to go to bed, because I know that when I turn in the night, I won't be turning into a warm, comforting body.

It just has to run it's course.

I know that in a few days, the despair will seem a little less dark.
I'll get back into my regular activities and routines.
I'll start planning our next adventures together.

One thing I know: the most beautiful part of this long-distance love is that we never, ever take each other for granted.
We show gratitude for each other constantly.
I never feel insecure in  my relationship, because I know that we are equally invested in each other.

I have found in him all the things I searched for.
He is my lover, my best friend, my cheerleader, my muse, my inspiration.
My absolute #1

I love him for helping me see that I am loveable.
For fighting for me when I didn't want to fight for myself.
For believing in me and helping me combat my fears.

In a mere 90 days- we will be together again.
This time no more goodbyes.

I know, and have always known, that we came into each others' lives for a reason.
We have so much love to give, to each other, and to the world.
We are so strong together. An unbreakable bond that probably started in lives' past.

A new life awaits, and I swear I'm going to enjoy every single moment of it...with him, the King of my heart.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Get Your Sparkle Back!!!

  Oh hi! My poor little blog baby, always at the very bottom of the priority ladder. I remember when I first started S&S, I used to write these long journal-esque posts from my desk at Michael Kors (ha! F U corporate world) and it was such a nice little escape from my day. I also used to print up motivational quotes and make these beautiful collages in my notebooks. Still have a few! The good old days. So COVID has returned to Europe with a savage vengeance, and I have no idea what will become of life in the next few weeks. The Swiss government maintained a very relaxed attitude after our first lockdown eased up at the end of April, and they seem determined to avoid a second lockdown at all costs. Our cases are soaring, and things are looking pretty, pretty, pretty not good. But, let's see where this goes. Trying to take it ODAAT. There are a few points I'd like to review quickly before I get back to my 'day job', so here we go: 1. My bestie, Sally Beaton, just publ
Post a Comment
Read more

I Was A Teenage Anarchist (And Now I'm Just Scared Of Everything...)

Today I wanna talk about the F WORD. FEAR, motherfuckers. Since I was 19, I have struggled with panic disorder and generalized anxiety. Last night, when I was falling asleep, I had a bit of an epiphany while I was doing my reframing exercises. For the past several weeks, I have been doing these nightly exercises, which aim to heal the relationship we have with past traumas. I learnt about this super helpful tool via Dennis Simsek, aka, THE ANXIETY GUY, aka, my current obsession and spirit animal guide! He's freaking amazing. Watch his video on how to reframe, below:  So as I was falling asleep, and making some contact with past versions of myself, I became cognizant of the fact that I used to be a fearless, angsty teenager. ME! Fearless?! It seems like such a foreign concept, but alas, I used to be scared of nada.   I was the girl who would never say no to a dare, who lived for thrills, and who didn't even consider fear when making decisions.  Of course, s
1 comment
Read more

A Typical (hard) Day In The Life

  One thing that I know for sure is this: not all days are created equally. As a most-of-the-time SAHM, I've become familiar with the great days, and the super challenging ones. Each night I go to bed  optimistic that I'm gonna land on a great day the following morning, but with two toddlers going through developmental changes at the same time, the going gets rough! I'm hiding out in the bath as I type this. It's 21:36. Jake fell asleep about 30 minutes ago after a 2 hour long bedtime battle. That kinda day. If you ever wanted to know what it's like to have two toddlers, born 11 months and 22 days apart, here ya go! 6AM. Woke up to Theo poking me and screaming 'Stella! SKY!' (The Paw Patrol girl character, Stella in French, Sky in English, my toddler is fancy and bilingual).  'Sky is in your rubber boot, Honey', I groan as I nudge hubby to get up and let me 'sleep in'. Today I can technically stay in bed until 7, but I don't end up fallin
Post a Comment
Read more