The Shadow and the Shimmer

I want to preface this by saying that almost all of this post came to me in a daydreamy/sleepy state while lying in bed last night (early this morning?). Have to start writing down these thoughts when I wake up...some of them are pretty interesting!!! What You Tune Into Matters. This can, of course, be applied to almost any area of life. What we CONSUME, creates our reality. Television, music, movies, food, beliefs, friends...it all adds up and adds to our vision of reality. I was thinking particularly about my relationship with the news, and how a shift in viewing habits made a really big difference in my overall happiness. When I first moved to Switzerland, we didn't have many English channels. In fact, the "news" was pretty much the only thing I could tap into in English. Now, we have better Anglo channels, and I do watch quite a bit of French TV, but I digress. Back in the day (aka, Fall 2016-fairly recently? Spring 2017?) I pretty much had the n...

So, I realize that I blog a lot about my current realities; the blessings and bliss and perks of being a sober mom. I focus on all of that good stuff because, in a way, it's new to me. I'm not used to being permanently non-anxious. I'm not used to feeling good so regularly. A lot of people in early recovery talk about these early moments; when you begin to feel authentically, when you learn how to speak your truth without "liquid courage", when what people think of you stops being priority. But, it's helpful as well to remember exactly why I decided to cut alcohol out of my life. I wouldn't say that I was the type of drinker who got drunk and fucked everything up. I never lost a job due to drinking, I had a nice apartment, I had (still have!) a dog that I took care of. I really loved my friends and family and didn't actively push anyone away (although now, I have a different view on how my drinking was damaging to some important relationships, in i...

I realize I haven't updated my blog in quite some time! I fall into these spells where I get a little too pre-occupied with my "work" writing, and forget that investing in my creative writing is just as important! I'm hoping to revamp my website in January and re-launch my site with a new concept (now/old concept. It's pretty clear that this is going in the direction of a sober living/recovery blog, cause that's what I'm passionate about these days!). BUT, in the meantime- here are some point-form updates for ya! ⇢We are having another baby boy!!! I am so excited. It's funny how when I first got pregnant (with Theo) I had this idea that I would have a little girl. I dreamt about raising her to be strong and independent and to take no shit from anyone. I swore that she would not struggle through the feelings of low self-worth that plagued me for a big part of my life. But then, we found out it was a boy. After mom'ing a little guy for 8 month...

I was just writing my bestie an email, and came up with this most excellent title for a blog post! Yes, I'm talking about drinking again! (rather, about not drinking). 106 days ago, I took the conscious decision that I would not drink anymore. Yes, it coincided with my second pregnancy, so naturally, it's a time when I wouldn't be drinking anyways. That helps. But that's not the reason for my decision, either. See, I spent many, many, many years drinking. And not just having an occasional glass here and there with friends or family. My drinking might've started out that way, but it quickly evolved into an all-too popular epidemic called binge drinking. I would drink fast and furiously. My tolerance for alcohol, towards the end, was so high that I regularly "shared" 3 bottles of wine on any given night with my hubs, and that wasn't shocking to me. Now it is. The thought of consuming 750ml x 3 / 2 = 1125ml of wine! For one person. A standa...

Happy Monday Peeps! The last several months, I've thought a lot about how my life has changed over a few short years. Most of the changes happened super holistically and gradually; meaning, I didn't wake up one day and say "this needs to change!" and go out and make efforts to shift things. Instead, my journey unfolded one piece at a time, each block leading me to a more comfortable and happier existence. For years and years, I binge read self-help and personal development books (who am I kidding? I still do this!). After a decade, I feel like I have found a personal blend of methods that work really well for me- that keep me happy, that keep me grateful and that keep me living a blessed and blissed out life. It wasn't always so easy to tune into higher frequencies and vibrations; it took me quite some time to really understand that the key to happiness and bliss was always within me. It's not this big secret. It's not complicated. It's as ...

We have been back from our vacation to Montreal for just over a week, and I'm only getting around to blogging about it now.  I've really been enjoying being back at home and getting back into our little routine.  A week filled with long walks, swimming, healthy eats and lots of friend and family time! As much as it's great to be back home where we have settled into our little family life, the trip to Montreal was nothing short of amazing. We had so many incredible moments with friends and family. We walked everywhere, we ate everything, we shopped a ton and we had amazing weather. Theo was really, really good on the plane (and train, and in the metro, and on all of the buses!). This little guy is super adaptable to travel and it's really the perfect age to bring him everywhere with us. So far he has been to England, France and Canada- and all of that within his first 6 months. Hope to add one beach destination to that list before the next baboo arrives (drea...

Prelude to this post, the best vegan sandwich in the world at Aux Vivres, Montreal (veggie pate) We're getting ready to fly out to Montreal! Going home is so nice, but it also makes me realize that over the past 15 months, I have really made Switzerland home, too. It's OK to have two places that are home, right? The truth is, home for me has become less about location, and more about where my heart is. For two years, Thomas and I were nurturing our relationship long-distance style, and it gave us both such an incredible appreciation for each moment we have had together in one place.  For some, it might seem like just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill life, but to us, it's extraordinary. We really value what it means to have a home and a family together , because for so long we had to rely on seeing each other every 3-4 months...man, I don't miss those days, but I'll always be grateful that we had the experience of being apart; it makes our love so much...

Happy Harvest Moon lovely people! I'm really excited about this full moon. Not only will it be huge and beautiful (hope I can see from my balcony, or at least behind our apartment!) it's also one of the most powerful astral phenomenon's of the year. This full moon, which is the one nearest the autumnal equinox, is a time to reflect on our feelings, emotions and spiritual "state of affairs" and to release any negativities that have been accumulated. Feeling frazzled at work? Not getting along with a friend or partner? Feeling like you are holding too much in and need to express yourself? THIS IS THE TIME! Let the mystical, magical moon do all the dirty work for you tonight! Then...have a beautiful and deep sleep to rejuvenate and restart! So, the nice thing is that there is no right or wrong way to do this ceremony. As with all things spiritual, you really have free range to follow your own path of what feels the most healing to you. The most ...

Often, as I am lying in bed drifting off to sleep, writing ideas pop into my head. Usually these ideas relate to my upcoming memoir self-help book, but sometimes they are other random bits of information that come out of the woodwork. The words flow through my head and soothe me to bed like a lullaby, and I get the sensation that I am reading and writing at the same time. It's pretty cool. Sadly, I don't always wake up (I rarely do!) to jot down these ideas, so the next day they aren't quite as fresh. But last night, something came into my head that was a pretty cool idea. What if you were asked to name 100 of your absolute favorite things in the world? This could be anything from an activity, a natural phenomena, an animal, a food...the list should be as unique and personal as possible. The only thing you should avoid is listing people, cause then the list risks becoming just a long collection of names ("I love my momma, my grandmomma, my daddy etc;" We a...