Life is busy. Sometimes hard. And we can sometimes fall into periods where we get down on ourselves for not doing enough, not being enough, not having enough etc;
Whether it's money, time, chores or physical appearance, we can be really, really self-critical.
Our inner judge (the ego) can make us feel like we're just not doing a good enough job...of anything.
Add in a society that tells us that we have to look a certain way, be perfect parents, work hard and succeed in the labour force, and you have a perfect storm.
You meet friends to catch up, and spend most of the time complaining about what isn't going right.
You gossip about others.
You feed the bad feelings/emotions and thoughts with more negativity, and eventually you have a pretty unhappy reality going on.
So- what if I told you that you can break the cycle?!
Changing our thoughts isn't an easy task, but it can be done, one small step at a time.
Becoming more mindful can literally change your life.
So how do you start?
Well, the good news is that you have a natural built-in tool to let you know if you're on track or not with your actions and thoughts. Your EGS (emotional guidance system) is like a GPS, but for your thoughts and actions.
It's a very simple tool.
If something feels good, makes you proud and happy, you're on the right track.
If something drains you, makes you sad, angry or anxious, you need some shifting.
This can be applied to EVERYTHING in life.
Thinking bad thoughts about someone. Feeling not good enough. Comparing yourself to others.
All of these things make you feel bad, right? Well that's because they aren't tapping into LOVE, which is our natural essence and purpose on this planet.
Thinking loving thoughts. Giving hugs. Helping others.
Those things feel great, right?
That's because you are aligning with your true source.
One small shift a day can turn into a life of happy and blissed out feelings and experiences.
But you have to start.
Why don't you get out a pen and paper and write down the things you are proud of? The things that make you happy? What are some things you are great at, or did recently that made you feel good?
By practicing gratitude for the good, you will only welcome more of it into your life.
We're told that to be proud is to be boastful and self-centered, but it is by feeling good about ourselves FIRST that we can be of better service to others.
So if you see someone who's super happy and looks like life is easy, instead of being jealous or resentful, think of why they are that way. Probably because they put self-care and self-love first (as they should, and as everyone should!!!)
Here's my list of proud moments:
-I'm proud of myself for following my heart, leaving my home country to be with the man I love, even if it meant sacrificing time and experiences with some very special people in my life (my mom, sister, best friends etc!)
-I'm proud of my body for carrying two beautiful babies, very close together
-I'm proud of how much love I give to my children. Even if some days I do feel like I'm not doing enough, or not doing it "right", I know that I am raising them in a very loving environment with lots of support and room to grow up to be who they want to be
-I'm proud of myself for quitting drinking when it was getting to be a problem in my life. I can't even imagine going back to a life where I need to numb out to deal with feelings/stress or LIFE anymore
-I'm proud of myself for always trying to be better. My quest for self-improvement seems to be never-ending, but every year I get closer to my true self and my creator (s)/ universe
-I'm proud of myself for choosing the right person to raise a family with. The path was sprinkled with many unfit partners, but I found my diamond in the rough
-I'm proud of myself for letting go of old belief patterns that no longer serve me
-I'm proud of myself for the way that I nurture my good friendships. I have the most amazing friends in my life- women and men who I can depend on for anything, and have never doubted
-I am proud of myself for being a stay-at-home-mom. Not everyone has the opportunity to stay home with their kids and I am so fortunate to be able to spend this much time with them when they are little. I know I will one day return to work- when it feels right- but right now, this is where I am needed
-I am proud of myself for getting over body issues. I used to be so hard on myself. Now, I realize that life is really too short to body-shame.
-I am proud of myself for continuing to write, even if no one is reading. I know that this blog probably doesn't get a lot of attention, and that's OK. I do it for me. I'll have a massive following when my book comes out, anyways.
xoxxoxo
Happy sunny Tuesday (to me? LOL) or anyone who took the time to read this!!!
-
Whether it's money, time, chores or physical appearance, we can be really, really self-critical.
Our inner judge (the ego) can make us feel like we're just not doing a good enough job...of anything.
Add in a society that tells us that we have to look a certain way, be perfect parents, work hard and succeed in the labour force, and you have a perfect storm.
You meet friends to catch up, and spend most of the time complaining about what isn't going right.
You gossip about others.
You feed the bad feelings/emotions and thoughts with more negativity, and eventually you have a pretty unhappy reality going on.
So- what if I told you that you can break the cycle?!
Changing our thoughts isn't an easy task, but it can be done, one small step at a time.
Becoming more mindful can literally change your life.
So how do you start?
Well, the good news is that you have a natural built-in tool to let you know if you're on track or not with your actions and thoughts. Your EGS (emotional guidance system) is like a GPS, but for your thoughts and actions.
It's a very simple tool.
If something feels good, makes you proud and happy, you're on the right track.
If something drains you, makes you sad, angry or anxious, you need some shifting.
This can be applied to EVERYTHING in life.
Thinking bad thoughts about someone. Feeling not good enough. Comparing yourself to others.
All of these things make you feel bad, right? Well that's because they aren't tapping into LOVE, which is our natural essence and purpose on this planet.
Thinking loving thoughts. Giving hugs. Helping others.
Those things feel great, right?
That's because you are aligning with your true source.
One small shift a day can turn into a life of happy and blissed out feelings and experiences.
But you have to start.
Why don't you get out a pen and paper and write down the things you are proud of? The things that make you happy? What are some things you are great at, or did recently that made you feel good?
By practicing gratitude for the good, you will only welcome more of it into your life.
We're told that to be proud is to be boastful and self-centered, but it is by feeling good about ourselves FIRST that we can be of better service to others.
So if you see someone who's super happy and looks like life is easy, instead of being jealous or resentful, think of why they are that way. Probably because they put self-care and self-love first (as they should, and as everyone should!!!)
Here's my list of proud moments:
-I'm proud of myself for following my heart, leaving my home country to be with the man I love, even if it meant sacrificing time and experiences with some very special people in my life (my mom, sister, best friends etc!)
-I'm proud of my body for carrying two beautiful babies, very close together
-I'm proud of how much love I give to my children. Even if some days I do feel like I'm not doing enough, or not doing it "right", I know that I am raising them in a very loving environment with lots of support and room to grow up to be who they want to be
-I'm proud of myself for quitting drinking when it was getting to be a problem in my life. I can't even imagine going back to a life where I need to numb out to deal with feelings/stress or LIFE anymore
-I'm proud of myself for always trying to be better. My quest for self-improvement seems to be never-ending, but every year I get closer to my true self and my creator (s)/ universe
-I'm proud of myself for choosing the right person to raise a family with. The path was sprinkled with many unfit partners, but I found my diamond in the rough
-I'm proud of myself for letting go of old belief patterns that no longer serve me
-I'm proud of myself for the way that I nurture my good friendships. I have the most amazing friends in my life- women and men who I can depend on for anything, and have never doubted
-I am proud of myself for being a stay-at-home-mom. Not everyone has the opportunity to stay home with their kids and I am so fortunate to be able to spend this much time with them when they are little. I know I will one day return to work- when it feels right- but right now, this is where I am needed
-I am proud of myself for getting over body issues. I used to be so hard on myself. Now, I realize that life is really too short to body-shame.
-I am proud of myself for continuing to write, even if no one is reading. I know that this blog probably doesn't get a lot of attention, and that's OK. I do it for me. I'll have a massive following when my book comes out, anyways.
xoxxoxo
Happy sunny Tuesday (to me? LOL) or anyone who took the time to read this!!!
-
Hey Ariane!! I just wanted to say I read your article on breaking codependency and I'm exactly where you were when you knew you had to break the cycle. I felt deeply connected to your words and it has inspired me greatly during the peak of emotional panic while being on a break with my partner. I want so badly to shift this pattern in myself, any further tips?? Thank you for sharing such words of experience and wisdom, if you've helped anyone today, it's been yourself as well as me x
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm sorry I'm just seeing this comment now! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your feedback. It really inspires me when reader's reach out to me! Celebrate every shift in your behaviour and actions, no matter how small. It's impossible to tackle codependency in one day (like it would be impossible to build a house, learn a new language or write a book!). The important thing is that your awareness has been activated, which means that your emotional guidance system is working to get you where you need to be.
ReplyDeleteFollow your gut instinct. Deep down, you know what is for you, and what is best to walk away from.
I wish you all the love in the world <3