The Shadow and the Shimmer

Another year is drawing to a close. As always, my fresh calendars and planners for the New Year are ready to go! Something about the new year always makes me feel excited.  It's a time to look back on the year that's gone by, take stock of what I accomplished, what goals I realized, and where I need to focus a little more love and energy. So here is my 2019 in a point-form nutshell: *Survived having Theo in daycare for 1/2 a day. This was a big step for me. I was so nervous to 'let him go', but ultimately, it gave me one afternoon a week to focus on bonding with/playing with/napping with Jake.  The routine and out-of-house time at daycare really helped Theo. He loved it!  *Had a fun mini getaway to Lucerne and the Rigi Kaltbad spa with my bestie in February. *Completed a very effective coaching program with my friend Sally (womenwithsparkle.com) and got my ass back to regular therapy sessions to work through the anxiety that 'came back' in 2018. *Tr...

The past couple of weeks have been an almost comical display of things getting cosmically f'ed up. The good news is that I have weathered the weeks with a pretty good sense of humour (a few meltdowns, but we'll get to that...). So it all started on Thursday, October 16th, under a Waning Gibbous moon in Taurus.  Arrived to the Montreal airport, baby in tow, after a really beautiful sisterly airport goodbye. Time to go home, to Switzerland! Final sister squeezes in front of mom's place. I'm so grateful to have spent so much quality time with my sis this year. Really special moments <3 I was so READY, cause I missed my oldest son and husband, and just wanted to get back to my day-to-day routine. Being away always makes me realize that home really is where the heart is. So, we board our plane, and I'm really feeling positive and happy. Going home! Have cute baby with me! Chatting with all of my plane neighbours. Trying to soak in the experience an...

Fall is here, and once again, I feel like I've neglected S+S for far too long! When you have toddlers, it's really true what they say, ' the days are long but the years fly by.' Here are a few things I've been up to: *Some freelance writing/but mostly free-writing/new poems.  I'm still submitting a few articles to www.TheRichest.com, but I don't always feel like it, to be honest! Doing freelance work is great, because it's structured (and paid haha) but I am feeling like I am really in the season of creative writing. Lately, I've been keeping an anxiety journal/tracker, to take note of when I feel crappy. Writing out the feelings also helps me to be less hard on myself when I don't see progress. Or when I am progressing but not 'fast enough' for my likings. Also keeping a dream journal again. I've always had such intense dreams. Signs. Symbols. Detailed conversations. It's kind of cool. I sometimes feel li...

Whoa. I haven't had a drink in 2 years. TWO YEARS! In retrospect, the years I spent as an active drinker seem way further in the past than that, possibly because I only drank during 2 months out of the past 3 years. But still! I respect official dates! The girl who used to struggle to string together 3 days without a cider now sits comfortably on her couch without having had any in 730 days.  My thoughts about drinking/alcohol dependence/mom wine culture etc; have ebbed and flowed, like a river, over the past 2 years.  Here's how it played out: LEADING UP TO 1 YEAR SOBER: *Needed to keep myself in active education. Reading, networking, blogging. All things about drinking and giving up. I needed to understand why alcohol became my go-to. I needed to sort out my feelings about how much of my life I had numbed out (almost all of it?). I had to get to the root of the habit. *Focused a lot on milestones. 3 months, 6 months, 9 months sober etc; *Still felt a lo...

Wow! This is my 55th blog post. 55 has always been such a happy, significant number to me, as I saw a lot of 5's in the year leading up to my move to Switzerland. 5's (especially in sequence, like 55 or 555) hold the spiritual meaning of change. It's no wonder I was seeing 555 everywhere I looked, back then. I had a huge season of change, with marriage, first pregnancy and an international move all happening within days of each other. I do things intensely, and all at once! Also significant is the fact that the theme of today's post is adapting to change. We just returned from 2 weeks in Canada, where we visited family and friends. What a SOUL NURTURING trip it was. I hadn't been home since October 2017, when Theo was 6 months old, so this trip was so necessary for me.  Not only did seeing my family and friends (and native land!) boost me up spiritually and emotionally, it allowed me to see that having two homes is OK. Loving people and things in Canada doe...

Horrible happenings! I know that focusing on, and listing all the shitty things that have happened recently is probably a terrible idea, but I'm gonna do it anyway! You know how much I love terrible ideas. Seriously though, writing everything out helps me to process the underlying themes, messages and significances of these events. It also provides an emotional release, which is always beneficial to spirit when you've had a few intense days. So, since Saturday, the following things have happened, leading me to believe that I'm cursed or being pointed towards some sort of lesson for growth (probably the latter, but it feels kind of like a curse sometimes haha) On Saturday, I had to bring Theo to the doctor because he was having an asthma attack. He was diagnosed with asthmatic bronchitis, and has been taking Ventolin to clear it up, since. The next morning, when I called my mom to tell her about Theo's health, she told me that my uncle had an angina attack wh...

Hi! Jeez, it's been ages since I've checked in here! Admittedly, I have been busy. Life is always quite full these days, with two toddlers on the go! Nonetheless, I am here now, and have some stuff I wanna talk about. Here are my bullet-format updates for end of May, 2019: *The boys are now both toddlers. Both walking, getting into everything, exploring the world. It's a sweet phase, but also exhausting. I'm constantly chasing them down, pulling objects out of their hands/mouths, cleaning up messes etc;  Active/messy/sleepless, but fun! They are starting to play really well together, and incidences of brother-biting are reducing each week.  Thomas and I are taking way more advantage of his parents' help, so that we can focus on spending more time together, as a couple. I'm also doing at least 1-2 alone activities each week to try and recharge. Weekly yoga, swimming and reading/painting/writing to nurture my creative side. *We are going to Canada i...

I DID IT! I published a damn book! My book has been born! <3 This is definitely the best natural high I have ever experienced (not counting getting married, birthing babies etc...) I'm so damn proud of myself. For so many years, I just wanted to share my feelings, thoughts and words with the world.  This project is so dear to my heart. So many fears, doubts and insecurities were given the ultimate send-off when I bravely opened my heart and decided that I was going to be vulnerable and share my story. The truth is, I needed to write these words. I need them as much as any outside reader might. This project has healed so many scars that were still stinging (even if just a little). So, without further ado, here is my newest baby. Things That Shine: Poems WRITTEN BY: Ariane Signer Published by: Balboa Press You can order it on Amazon, Book Depository, Barnes & Noble, or by following this link to order directly from my publisher's website: ht...

I am going to be published in a matter of weeeeeeeeks!!! AH! I have been dreaming/bucket-listing publishing a book for YEARS, and the dream is finally becoming a reality this spring!!!! The original idea was to write about my sobriety journey. Though I am still super passionate about sober living (Day 543!) , and sharing that part of my story, I wrote a few chapters and then felt STUCK.  The book wasn't budging. I literally tried everything to inspire myself.  Read dozens of books in the quit-lit category.  Wrote in a journal.  Read back though old material.  The project just wasn't ready to be born. I felt stuck, and it made me feel really...not good.  I wanted to write, but it just wasn't coming.  So then, on November 11, 2018 (11/11) I went to bed and sent out a little request to the Universe. I had read that 11/11/18 was one of the most powerful manifesting dates in the past several hundred years, so I gave it...