The Shadow and the Shimmer

Hello! Today is such a typical Case-of-the-Monday's- Monday. I'm not even that moody or down, I just feel like I should be. It's rainy and gray outside, I ate way too much chocolate yesterday and I'm hormonal. Recipe for some blues, right there! Yeeeeeep. So it's the first day back to work after a long weekend. This was the first weekend without my boyfriend, and despite everything, it went pretty well! I jumped right back into my "self-care" routines to keep myself uplifted and healthy/happy. Lots of long bubble baths, Netflix marathons, chores (I love cleaning, best therapy ever). I am not the only one who engaged in a little "rest and relaxation" this weekend Friday, I went to the gym for an embarrassing 20 minutes, and then saw the new Tina Fey movie with my pal Ash. Saturday, I went for a tattoo session and Sunday was my family's Easter brunch/lunch. The entire weekend was spent booze-free..yeah! This helps trem...

Uggghhhhh  my heart. I jut said goodbye to my beautiful boyfriend at the airport. After 9 wonderful weeks together, he had to go back to Switzerland to work. This is our 6th airport goodbye in 600 days (today is actually exactly 600 days since we met!!!) The truth is: it doesn't get easier to say goodbye. The first night apart is the hardest. I find myself in this weird, hazy fog of emotions and memories. Everything reminds me of him. I don't want to listen to music. Everything will make me sad, or fake-happy. I don't want to sit on the couch, because that's where we spent a good portion of the last 9 weeks, together. I especially don't want to go to bed, because I know that when I turn in the night, I won't be turning into a warm, comforting body. It just has to run it's course. I know that in a few days, the despair will seem a little less dark. I'll get back into my regular activities and routines. I'll start planning our next ...

So, tonight is a bittersweet night. It's bittersweet, simply because fondue night precedes "airport day". Over the last year and a half, my honey and I have endured the following heart-wrenching airport goodbyes (ranked on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the hardest) 1. ZURICH, CH, JAN 2015   7/10 This one was pretty tough. It was our first time seeing each other after our meeting in August. We adored this trip together; it really set the tone of the relationship...sweet, cheesy (literally) and passionate. When we said goodbye, I stuffed my face with beautiful, expensive, Swiss chocolates, looked at photos of our trip together, and cried. This was the delicious beginning of the "goodbye, don't cry, fondue ceremony" 2. MONTREAL, CAN, MARCH 2015 9/10 Ouch! I remember this one!!! This one sucked particularly because Thomas flew in for a mere 5 days to spend time with me. The gesture was so romantic, spontaneous and John Cusack-y. Saying goodby...

Hi Friends! It's Monday morning and I'm pretty slow-going after a busy (but very nice) weekend! Lately I've been giving a lot of thought to the Law of Attraction. Manifesting the things you most strongly desire, almost effortlessly. We've all see The Secret. The premise of LOA is quite simple. The Universe's magnetic powers draw like energies' together.  If we look at the Universe outside of the time-space-continuum,  human existence is part of the life force phenomena, which is all-encompassing. We are no different than a rock or a tree, in the grand scheme of things. The energy, or Source, that flows through our beings, is equally moving through all things. There is no separation. Everything is one. The Universe doesn't know the difference between "good" or "bad". Labelling thoughts, events, activities and behaviours as either positive or negative is part of the human condition; history has shown that our moral code cha...

Holy shit! A week has passed since I last wrote?! Whoa- not OK! Admittedly, I have been choosing to spend most of my down time cooking, watching movies and going out on dates with my boyfriend. We're always sweet and romantic with each other (he's definitely "my person")...BUT THIS WEEK IS EVEN MORE ROMANTIC! It's like I'm floating on a cloud of Kraft Dinner while holding a dozen baby pugs and being spoon-fed cheese-cubes. We've been in a near-constant flow of gratitude for each other, nurturing and adoring each other and planning our future. We're laughing constantly. Creating new, stupid pet names for each other on a daily basis. Sharing embarrassing memories. Talking about the 90's. Yesterday, he came home with white roses and I made him pizza that looked like this: So, this morning, a co-worker passed by my desk and asked me how my relationship was going. I gave her a slightly condensed version of the above. Her response was, r...

Wow, I haven't written in 5 days! It's been a bit of a busy week. Monday, I had an appointment with my dentist. I've been a pretty vigorous day-clencher and night-grinder for years. Last spring, my dentist suggested that I get fitted for a hard, acrylic occlusion guard. This $700 plastic monster was supposed to help to protect my teeth at night. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I  started to notice changes in my mouth and jaw.  One day, I was trying to bite my cuticles, and my teeth couldn't latch onto the skin, as they had faithfully done for over 20 years.   Gone are the days of ripping open a bag of chips with my teeth. They simply don't grip that way anymore. It's horrifying! As the weeks progressed, I was waking up with severe cheek and jaw pain; so I went back and dentist confirmed that my chompers had, in fact, moved around in my mouth. Comforting! 3 weeks ago, I had a new set of molds created. They pho...

Today is a very special day! It is my darling dearest boyfriend's 30th birthday! We kicked off the day with a super vigorous team cleanup of the apartment. I love the feeling of balance and harmony that comes with cleaning...it really set the tone for a super-charged, inspiring day! Next up, I left the birthday boy home alone for an hour while I went to my Ayurveda consultation. This is something I have been interested in for a long time. After a sluggish winter, I feel like I need to boost my health, and this was a great starting place. Unsurprisingly, she confirmed that my nervous system is overwhelmed (yep!) due to poorly managed stress/working too hard/worrying too much/thinking too much.... That's me! I definitely feel like there is a disconnect between my mind and my heart; and this is what I need to work on balancing. Without further ado, here are my main assignments for the next 6 weeks: 1. DIET: first of all, it has to change! My Dosha is almost equal pa...

Hi Everybody and happy Thursday! It's a beautiful, sunny day! It's DAY 3 of my no-booze March, and I'm feeling great and super-motivated. Over the past few years, I've been really interested in learning about alcohol use, abuse and addiction. I've always been a fairly regular drinker with an insatiable appetite for cider and wine. I wanted to know: what is the correlation between what I FEEL and what I DO ? How often (and not always consciously) am I turning to alcohol to soothe an emotional or psychological problem? How can I incorporate more efficient and healthy ways of coping with daily stresses? Side note before proceeding : Alcoholism is a serious, potentially fatal disease. I am not a doctor and do not suggest that people with serious addictions can simply read a book and be cured. Professional intervention and treatment are critical and irreplaceable. OK, now, having said that, let's jump into the books that have really helped me over the year...

Yesterday was a catastrophic day. Migraines, anxiety, 37 minute delay on train home in subarctic weather. Not many fun things happened! Although yesterday roughed me up, today, I'm sleepily getting back on the 'ol high horse. Misery doesn't suit me too well. Despite being a HSP (highly sensitive person for those who don't know, and YES , it's a real thing!!!) , I never let the negative stick around too long. Today- I am going to kick back my "attitude of gratitude" with 3 things that are great today: 1. It's John Francis Bongiovi, Jr's 54th Birthday Today Happy Birthday BABY! My love affair with BJ started when my Aunt Donna sent me the 7800° Fahrenheit album for Christmas. It was probably 1992. From there, I grew my Bon Jovi tape collection. I had Bon Jovi books, I WROTE Bon Jovi books and I even hosted the infamous "Bon Jovi Party" when my mother refused to let 9-year-old-me go to the Bell Centre to see his life concert. This...

It's March, and I'm giving up booze for 31 days!  I am putting down the bottle for the entire month. Here are the main reasons why: 1. It feels really nice (emotionally/physically/spiritually) to not have alcohol in your system. Moods regulate, skin and hair rejuvenate, sleep improves. 2. I like the challenge. I've always been a pretty regular drinker, so it is a bit of a test to go a month without a glass of wine or pint of cider 3. It helps me get into my Zen zone. Let's face it, hangovers are not that uplifting. Bloating, anxiety and dehydration associated with too much alcohol are some of the things I'm happy to leave in February. I'm ready to ditch late night wine sessions for late night meditation sessions and bubble baths. 4. I know I'll eat better and workout more. Alcohol has got to be the world's biggest saboteur. A few pints of beer later; the gym is a distant rumination and I'm covered in honey garlic chicken wing sauce (that actu...